As someone who grew up in a household filled with girls, the prospect of raising boys felt daunting. I was raised by my single mother alongside my sister, and our home was a vibrant mix of femininity. While I had some male friends throughout my life, my closest relationship has always been with my husband, whom I met when we were both young. Initially, I was intimidated by boys, but my husband helped me see that they possess depth and tenderness along with their energetic nature.
When I discovered I was expecting my first son, I felt unprepared and worried about making mistakes in his upbringing. However, the journey of raising my two boys has turned out to be an exhilarating and enlightening adventure. My firstborn, who will soon be nine, continues to amaze me with his unique personality. His embodiment of “boyishness” is one of his most endearing traits.
Here are nine important lessons I have learned over the past nine years of raising boys:
- Diaper Orientation Matters: Early on, I learned the critical importance of positioning my baby boy’s penis downward in his diaper. Neglecting to do so can lead to unexpected messes. Once toddlers discover they can access their diapers, ensuring proper positioning becomes even more crucial.
- Resilience of Boys: It’s a common concern among parents to worry about the fragility of their sons’ bodies, especially regarding their genitalia. However, it’s reassuring to know that boys often engage in rough play without breaking anything. Yes, they may pull and twist, but the resilience of their bodies is remarkable.
- Emotional Expression is Vital: Contrary to the stereotype that boys are tougher, they do cry—both over trivial and significant matters. It’s essential that they feel validated in their emotions. I encourage my boys to express their feelings, reinforcing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
- High Energy Levels: Boys are often more energetic than girls, and I can attest to the chaos this can create. If they are cooped up indoors, their energy levels can lead to uncontrollable antics, such as climbing furniture. While it can be exhausting, it often results in amusing situations.
- Individual Preferences: Boys are not inherently drawn to stereotypical “boy” toys. My children gravitated towards a variety of colors and types of toys, including a pink shopping cart and a sparkly tiara. As they grew, they began to choose more traditionally masculine toys, but starting with an open mind was key.
- Ongoing Clean-Up: After potty training, I naively thought I was free from bathroom duties. Sadly, the reality is that boys of all ages often miss the toilet, leading to continual cleaning. I’ve found that involving them in the clean-up process can sometimes encourage better aiming skills.
- Not All Boys Fit the Mold: While many believe that all boys enjoy roughhousing and bathroom humor, this isn’t universally true. My sons are exceptions, preferring less messy play. Each child is unique, and their preferences can defy stereotypes.
- Compassionate Nature: Boys are fully capable of being just as kind and nurturing as girls. My younger son, despite being only three, frequently offers comfort when he senses my distress, showcasing a depth of empathy that is heartwarming.
- Raising Future Men: The realization that I am not just raising boys, but future men, has made me acutely aware of my responsibility. Good men are essential for society, and fostering kindness, respect, and emotional intelligence in them is crucial for a better future.
The bond between a mother and her sons can be profound, offering opportunities for mutual growth and understanding. Although my boys can be a handful, they bring immense joy and fulfillment to my life. I cherish the lessons learned and the memories created throughout this journey.
For additional insights on parenting and home insemination, you may find this blog post helpful: Home Insemination Kit. Furthermore, for those on a fertility journey, Make A Mom provides valuable information. If you are looking for comprehensive resources on infertility, Mount Sinai is an excellent place to start.
In summary, raising boys has been an enlightening experience, filled with challenges and joys. Each lesson learned contributes to a deeper understanding of both my children and myself, leading to a richer family life.