I hope this message finds you well. I attended one of the New Parent classes offered by your hospital about a year ago, which was advertised as a source of “essential tools and skills to aid in the birthing process and beyond.” Unfortunately, after dedicating 18 hours to the course, I found the experience left me feeling unprepared. Therefore, I would like to propose several topics that I believe would be far more beneficial for future participants.
1. Focus on Realities of Screaming and Epidurals
I suggest replacing the segment on breathing and pushing with a focus on the realities of screaming and the use of epidurals. The takeaway for students should be clear: if an epidural isn’t on the table, there’s a strong likelihood of a lot of screaming. The comparison of the birthing experience to what we practiced in class—pushing against a taut sheet held by a partner—feels like likening a day at a spa to waterboarding. Both may involve water, but the experiences are worlds apart.
2. Diapering with Real Baby Animals
For the module covering diapering and dressing, I recommend replacing the dolls with actual baby animals from a local farm. It’s easy to put a pliable doll into a diaper, but mastering the art of diapering a squirmy piglet would prepare your students far more effectively for the real deal.
3. Multitasking Skills
A dedicated session on multitasking—eating, cleaning, dressing, or applying makeup with one hand—would be invaluable. There are plenty of practical exercises you could introduce to help enhance one-handed dexterity, a skill that quickly becomes essential during those early months (and years) of parenthood.
4. Understanding Baby Poop
Additionally, a segment on the nuances of baby poop would be greatly appreciated. When is it too little, too much, or just right? Providing tips on effective cleanup—whether it’s from ceilings, walls, or clothing—would be a tremendous asset to new parents navigating this uncharted territory.
5. Eliminate Birthing Tools Discussion
I recommend eliminating the section that elaborates on various birthing tools (which some might refer to as torture devices). The instruments shown to us during class looked like relics from the Stone Age, and frankly, I’d rather not dwell on the details of how they might be used during labor.
6. Mesh Underwear and Post-Birth Care
Finally, a specific discussion on mesh underwear and post-birth care would be beneficial. Many parents are unaware of the realities they’ll face after delivery, such as how long they will need to wear a diaper or how often they’ll need to use numbing spray.
Please don’t misunderstand—I did not leave your class completely empty-handed; I walked away with a six-page birthing plan that my baby seemed blissfully unaware of. I offer these suggestions free of charge, but if you feel inclined to reduce my ongoing delivery bill, I would certainly appreciate it.
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In summary, while my class experience was not as enlightening as I had hoped, I believe that incorporating these suggestions would significantly enhance the curriculum, ultimately better preparing new parents for the journey ahead.