Recently, my 8-year-old son, Ethan, joined his school’s Chess Club. With minimal experience, primarily a few casual games with our neighbor’s child, his first encounter in the club left him disheartened after losing.
To help him improve, my partner unearthed our old chess set from a forgotten corner of the closet. Despite my prior experience with chess during my college days, I had forgotten some of the rules and piece movements. When Ethan asked if I would play a game with him, I couldn’t say no. After a quick online refresher on chess basics, we faced each other, both serious and focused on the game.
Playing chess turned out to be like riding a bike; the memories came rushing back once I remembered the terminology. After about 45 minutes of play, I cornered Ethan’s king. “Check,” I announced. He sat there for a while, contemplating his next move but ultimately seemed to deflate as he realized defeat was imminent. I praised him for his effort, extending my hand for a post-game handshake, but he merely sat there, silent.
“Hey buddy, you know it’s customary to shake hands after a game, right? What about a high five instead?” But he wasn’t interested. Before I knew it, my lanky 8-year-old was curled up in my lap, crying. I comforted him, assuring him that losing is a normal part of learning, especially for beginners. Meanwhile, my partner, lounging on the couch, signaled to me, “You should have let him win!”
Later that evening, as Ethan prepared for bed, he continued reflecting on our game. Although his tears had dried, he was still fixated on his missteps. He rambled on about his choices: “I shouldn’t have moved that knight!” and “I can’t believe I lost my queen!” Eventually, after a series of regrets, he posed a question, “Mom, could you maybe go easy on me next time?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Let’s consider that. If I take it easy and you win, would you feel like you truly earned that victory, or that I just gave it to you?” He pondered for a moment before responding, “I guess it wouldn’t feel earned.”
“Now, think about this. If we played a number of games and I always gave my all, and after many attempts you finally beat me fair and square, how would that feel?” I watched as he smiled, “I think I’d want to scream with happiness!”
“Alright then. The choice is yours. Want me to go easy, or should we play full out?” He hesitated briefly but finally declared, “Full out!”
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Summary
In this article, the author shares a personal story about playing chess with her son, Ethan, and the decision not to let him win. Through their game, she emphasizes the importance of resilience and the satisfaction of earning victories through hard work and practice.