If you were familiar with the family in the white house, you might recall the Halloween when a child dressed as a construction barrel confidently walked through their front door, turned down a handful of Tootsie Rolls, and inquired about the bathroom while adjusting his costume.
If you spoke to the woman three houses down, she could tell you about the boy who declined all the candy she offered, declaring he wasn’t fond of her selections, yet complimented her lovely chandeliers featuring energy-efficient CFL bulbs.
And if you chatted with the family at the end of the street, they’d recount the child who was more keen on switching on the foyer lights than collecting a full-size Kit Kat or Twix bar.
A few years back, my son, the construction barrel, was the only child in our neighborhood uninterested in filling his orange plastic pumpkin with sweets. His Halloween agenda revolved around the unique characteristics of autism rather than a desire for candy.
For my son, October 31 is one of the most exciting days of the year, as he perceives it as his opportunity to explore all the houses in the neighborhood. He believes that when a front door opens, it signifies an invitation inside, and he eagerly accepts. When my son approaches, the exchange is not merely a quick “here’s your candy” or “great costume,” but rather, it becomes an enlightening experience about understanding diversity.
While some neighbors embrace this quirkiness, others may feel bewildered and uncertain about how to respond. I understand this confusion, but I also see it as a chance to educate those who engage with special needs children during Halloween. The guidance is straightforward: be aware, be understanding, and be accepting.
Not every child knocking on your door fits the conventional image of a costumed candy-seeker who has been dreaming of this night for an entire year. For many children, Halloween can be overwhelming and challenging, including those with autism, anxiety, food allergies, or other conditions that make the night difficult. For children with dietary restrictions, offering a few nut-free or gluten-free treats, along with non-candy options, can foster a sense of inclusion. The Teal Pumpkin Project initiated by an organization called Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) encourages families to display a teal pumpkin or a downloadable sign to indicate the availability of non-food items for kids with food allergies or dietary restrictions. This initiative also raises awareness about food allergies and promotes inclusivity for all trick-or-treaters, except perhaps those who might wander into your home uninvited.
In earlier years, my son had a limited vocabulary and was not familiar with the phrase “trick-or-treat.” For a child with autism, or even one who is shy, approaching a stranger’s home for candy can be quite daunting. It’s important to remember that it’s perfectly fine if a child doesn’t say “trick-or-treat” or “thank you.” These phrases should not be a requirement for receiving treats.
I know many parents who rehearse Halloween with their children in advance to ease the experience on October 31. They practice saying “trick-or-treat” and “thank you,” and help their children get comfortable in their costumes while navigating the neighborhood. Some even utilize social stories to demonstrate appropriate social interactions.
When we began our trick-or-treating journey, my son was not a fan of the experience. He disliked being outside in the dark, found some decorations frightening, and often felt uncomfortable in his costume. He wasn’t interested in candy, which meant more for us! Someone once asked why we continued to take him out if he disliked it so much. It was a valid question, but staying home was not an option. Like many children, the more we exposed him to various experiences, the more he adapted and eventually began to enjoy—or at least tolerate—what he once dreaded. Over the years, my son has come to look forward to Halloween just as much as his siblings do. While much of his excitement still revolves around entering neighbors’ homes, that’s perfectly fine with me. I cherish witnessing him partake in the joy of Halloween, even if his reasons differ from the norm.
So this Halloween, please be aware, be understanding, and be patient. If my children come to your door, generosity—especially with chocolate—would be appreciated. Here are some ways to ensure trick-or-treating is enjoyable for every child:
- Be Aware: Just as you’ll encounter a variety of costumes, you’ll also meet children with different comfort levels regarding Halloween’s customs and rituals. You cannot always tell by looking at them who has autism or allergies, or who may be too anxious to speak.
- Be Understanding: Although Halloween is a favorite holiday for many children, that doesn’t imply every child knocking on your door is enthusiastic about dressing up, navigating scary decorations, or asking strangers for candy. Children without costumes may have valid reasons for not dressing up and should not be singled out for it. They might be there to acclimate to the experience for next year or to stay connected with family on this special night.
- Be Accepting: Each child is a unique individual with their own strengths, challenges, and understanding of Halloween etiquette. It’s essential to smile, offer candy or non-food items, and wish them a happy Halloween, recognizing that for some, this night may not be easy. Your kindness and understanding can significantly impact these children’s experiences.
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In summary, as Halloween approaches, let us foster understanding and inclusivity for all children, ensuring that the spirit of the holiday is shared and celebrated by everyone.