Resilient individuals who rise after setbacks often defy conventional expectations. Their unpredictability can be both exhilarating and challenging.
As Brené Brown eloquently remarks in Rising Strong, “When we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked.” This journey is not only painful but also typically chaotic.
I watched my son, Alex, tumble multiple times—at least five, perhaps more. Each fall made my heart race with concern for his physical and emotional well-being. It is hard not to feel a pang of sadness when witnessing a loved one stumble.
Initially, I regretted our decision to visit the park. We could have stayed home, cozy and at ease. After all, it was Alex’s idea to create our own obstacle course inspired by American Ninja Warrior. Watching him struggle was disheartening—he was frustrated and defeated.
My younger son, Max, had navigated the course with ease, completing each challenge within minutes. We cheered for him, “Fantastic job, Max! You truly are a ninja warrior!” Then it was Alex’s turn. After a hesitant start, he moved confidently until he reached the final challenge.
Barefoot, he approached the narrow beam, attempting to walk across it. Almost instantly, he lost his balance and fell. He then tried crawling along the beam, just like Max had done before. But he fell again. And again. Each time he tried, his frustration intensified, his face reddening and sweat dripping down his forehead. My husband and I exchanged glances, knowing we’d seen this story unfold before.
Minutes passed, and the stopwatch continued ticking. Alex was clearly struggling, and I anticipated the inevitable meltdown—the tears, the frustration, the cries of “I can’t do it!”
Yet, when he fell yet again, something shifted. Instead of giving up, he clung to the beam and began crawling upside down, inching his way forward. Slowly but surely, he persevered and eventually reached the top.
“Woo-hoo!” we cheered. “You did it!”
“What was my time?” he asked, noticing that Max had outpaced him significantly. I braced for the emotional fallout, knowing the sting of sibling rivalry all too well.
Instead of sulking, Alex lay back on the bench, catching his breath. Moments later, he surprised us by acknowledging Max’s achievement, saying, “Max, that was impressive! You climbed that last obstacle really well.”
In that moment, my husband and I were struck by his reaction. Where was the anger? The excuses? Instead, Alex displayed resilience and grace.
As we walked back to the starting point, we congratulated him—not for winning, but for embodying the spirit of perseverance. He had not only faced challenges but had also risen after each fall. This was remarkable in itself.
In parenting, we often celebrate our children’s successes, and rightly so. However, we may overlook the importance of acknowledging the struggles they face. We tend to focus on achievements, such as aced tests or sports victories, while glossing over the effort it took to get there.
It is undeniably difficult to witness a loved one struggle. We want to shield them from pain and disappointment. Yet, by highlighting only victories, we risk sending the message that falls equate to failure. We may inadvertently create a culture where our children feel isolated in their challenges, leading them to believe they are alone in their struggles.
Earlier this summer, Alex pitched in his first baseball game. After walking a batter, he struck out three in a row, leaving us all in awe. Success at that moment brought joy, but I value more the lesson he learned while tackling the obstacle course. I want him to remember that it’s okay to stumble and that perseverance is just as important as success.
In celebrating resilience, we equip our children with the mindset to face future challenges. They learn to embrace the process, knowing that grit and grace go hand in hand.
For more insights on the journey of home insemination, you can find valuable resources at NHS, or explore the various options available through Make a Mom. If you’re interested in deeper discussions about home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination.
Summary:
In nurturing resilience and grace in children, parents must acknowledge the struggles encountered along the way, rather than solely celebrating achievements. This encourages children to see falls as part of the growth process, thus fostering a mindset that embraces perseverance.