As I sit in a hotel room instead of enjoying the thrills of an amusement park due to rain, I find myself reflecting on the many lessons learned from this family getaway with my 7 and 5-year-olds. If you’ve ever ventured on a vacation with kids, you might just find this relatable.
- Forget the big attractions. Your kids will find the most excitement in sleeping on a pull-out sofa or bouncing between hotel beds. The thrill of a little tumble and a minor face plant into an old comforter? Priceless.
- Children are immune to pleas like, “Please don’t jump, run, or stomp around the hotel room after 10 p.m.! There are people trying to sleep!”
- Always ask if they need to use the restroom. They’ll both insist they don’t, only for Child A to take her sweet time in the bathroom while Child B suddenly has a dire emergency. Apparently, a bathroom can be the ultimate creative retreat.
- Kids completely ignore when you say, “We’ve spent a fortune on these theme park tickets, so no, we’re not going to waste money on carnival games!”
- You’ll be amazed at how long kids can survive on sugary sodas and those neon-orange cheese crackers, accompanied by just a couple of bites of a giant pretzel.
- They also don’t grasp the concept that vacations aren’t solely about them. Sometimes, parents want a meal that isn’t from a fast-food joint!
- Expect a beloved toy to end up hidden in the hotel room—whether it’s in the bedding or curtains. You’ll then have to shell out for a ridiculously overpriced substitute.
- They won’t heed warnings like “Stay away from the elevator doors!”
- Kids will argue over who gets to use the hotel room key, who chooses the next ride, and who sits next to Mom. Dad? Well, he’s just there for moral support.
- The hotel fountain? A magnet for little hands, despite your repeated warnings.
- Free breakfast buffets can bring out the worst behavior. It’s less of a buffet and more of a gladiator arena. Good luck dodging flying rubbery omelets while you try to fill your plate!
- And when it comes to who gets to press the elevator buttons? They’ll fight like it’s the most important decision of the day.
- If rain interrupts your amusement park plans, brace yourself to spend more than the ticket price in arcades. And then prepare for a long debate over which cheap prizes to redeem. Not to mention the meltdown when the prize breaks the moment you leave the arcade. Just think of the nice breakfast you could have enjoyed instead.
- Did I mention how deaf kids can be?
- Look for hotels with complimentary happy hour. You’ll find yourself sipping on subpar white zinfandel or lukewarm beer just to cope with the chaos around you.
Then, unexpectedly, you’ll have one of those moments. You might take your kids to a semi-nice restaurant—one that has dim lighting and serves seared tuna. They’ll behave impeccably, enjoy their food, and not make a fuss. In that moment, you might think that vacationing with kids isn’t so bad after all—until you return to the elevator, and the button-pushing war resumes.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this blog post over at Modern Family Blog. If you’re navigating the world of home insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom, where you can find reliable home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, Women’s Health offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, family vacations are a mix of chaos and unexpected joy. Embrace the madness, and remember that every trip is a unique adventure, complete with its own set of challenges and unforgettable moments.
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