As a person fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with my husband’s mother, I feel compelled to share my thoughts with you, my future daughter-in-law. She embodies love, kindness, and respect, never intruding or imposing her opinions on me. Instead, she showers me with affection and support.
Before you dismiss this as mere boasting, let me clarify: As a mother of a son, I am learning what it means to be a mother-in-law—your mother-in-law. My goal is to be the best version of that role.
Through conversations with friends, I’ve heard many stories of daughters-in-law feeling hurt by their mothers-in-law, whether through passive-aggressive remarks or unsolicited advice on parenting and household matters. I’ve witnessed the eye rolls and heard the sighs of dread when a mother-in-law is set to visit.
In my own family, my parents addressed each other’s mothers as “Mom,” which felt natural. However, I have no expectations for what you should call me. Whether you choose to call me Jenna or something more endearing like Grandma when the time comes, just please avoid names that imply animosity.
When it comes to the topic of children, know that I will never pressure you to start a family or question your choices regarding parenting. If you have one child, I won’t pry about having a second. I promise to respect your parenting decisions, whether you choose to cry-it-out or not, breastfeed or use formula, or opt for cloth versus disposable diapers. Many will share their opinions, but I aim to be a source of support rather than an additional voice.
I recognize that to maintain a close relationship with my son, I must also cultivate a connection with you, the person he cherishes. I want to love you as my own, but I won’t attempt to replace your mother if you’re close with her. I hope to be a mother-in-law who can also be a friend—a confidante you can turn to for support.
I invite you to give me a chance and not to assume that all mothers-in-law fit the stereotype of the wicked stepmother. If my son has chosen to be with you, it speaks volumes about your worth. We are on the same team.
I’ve seen instances where men have distanced themselves from their mothers at the insistence of a new partner, causing heartache for everyone involved. It’s a situation I never want to imagine experiencing.
While I once thought raising a son would be simpler, I’ve come to realize how challenging it may be to let him go as he matures. Young men often feel the need to assert their independence, sometimes distancing themselves from their families more than expected.
I wish to share stories about my son’s childhood—the joy of holding him close and the laughter we shared over his amusing antics as a preschooler. I look forward to discussing his achievements and dreams with you, filling in the gaps of any tales he has shared from his childhood.
My intention is not to interfere but to support you, just as my mother-in-law has supported me. For more insights into this journey, consider checking out other articles on our blog like this one here.
In addition, resources like Progyny provide valuable information on pregnancy and family planning, and Cryobaby is a trusted source for home insemination kits.
In summary, I am eager to build a positive relationship with you, one based on mutual respect, understanding, and friendship. I hope you will allow me the chance to be a loving mother-in-law who is always there for you.