As a newlywed, I believed I was an exceptional partner. My marriage was my foremost priority, and I dedicated myself to thoughtful gestures—picking up my partner’s favorite craft beer on the way home, offering spontaneous back rubs, and willingly giving up the remote to watch his favorite sports teams, even if it meant missing my own shows.
People warned me that everything would shift once we welcomed a child. I intellectually understood their point, but I found it hard to fathom prioritizing anyone over my partner. He was my main person.
However, two years into our marriage, we welcomed a baby boy. Guess who now occupies the top spot? Unfortunately, when someone gets demoted to second place like my partner did, the result often leads to raised voices. Before you consider forming a support group for husbands of new moms or suggest he crash on your couch, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not just unpleasant for him; it’s equally distressing for me as the one doing the yelling.
The once-calm partner I was, rarely raising my voice before having a baby, has transformed into someone who often loses her temper. Here are six reasons why I find myself yelling at my partner:
- I Can’t Yell at the Baby.
It’s impossible to yell at an innocent baby for all the chaos they create. Instead, I end up venting my frustrations towards my partner, assigning blame for the baby’s disruptions. Whether it’s the baby waking up every hour for no apparent reason or spitting up on me just as I’m about to head out, my partner becomes the target of my frustration. - I Can’t Yell at My Colleagues.
I consider myself fortunate to work at a job I truly enjoy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally feel frustrated with my colleagues. After spending 40 hours a week with the same group, tensions can rise. When they do, my partner often bears the brunt of my frustrations. - I Haven’t Eaten All Day.
I can be quite irritable when I’m hungry—a phenomenon many refer to as being “hangry.” My partner learned early in our relationship that he needs to act quickly to appease my hunger or face the consequences. Juggling a baby and my own meals often leads to neglecting my own hunger, and if my partner comes home without snacks, he’s in trouble. - I Haven’t Slept in Days.
Sleep deprivation is a well-known torture method, and during the early days of parenthood, it felt like a prison sentence. The extreme fatigue and lack of sleep can wreak havoc on my mood and relationship. Our life during those months was a blur of exhaustion, leading to countless arguments over who would tend to the baby. - I Haven’t Exercised.
I didn’t realize how much running was a part of my identity until it became nearly impossible to fit into my schedule. Before parenthood, my partner was supportive and encouraged me to run whenever I felt down. Now, my time is consumed by the baby, making it challenging to find moments for exercise, which only adds to my frustration. - He Forgives Me.
Marriage, particularly with a newborn, presents its own set of challenges. It requires a significant amount of patience and understanding. Despite the yelling and disagreements, my partner continuously forgives me. I know these moments will pass, and our relationship will grow stronger as we navigate this new chapter together.
In those fleeting moments of joy—like snuggling on a lazy Sunday morning with my partner, our baby, and our dog—it’s easy to forget the frustrations. Still, the cycle of yelling can return quickly. But knowing that my partner is there, forgiving and understanding, makes all the difference.
For additional insights on parenting and home insemination, visit this informative article or explore this excellent resource on the IVF process. If you’re considering home insemination, check out this authority on the subject.
In summary, while the journey of parenthood can be challenging and filled with moments of frustration, it’s essential to recognize the love and support that remains at the core of the relationship.