Dear Twentysomething Yoga Enthusiast,
I couldn’t help but notice your wistful conversation before class, expressing a desire to travel back to the ’90s. Then, there you were, capturing that #blessed selfie of your perfectly manicured toes and your SmartWater. I wonder if the ’90s would actually suit you.
Your Surroundings
First, let’s consider your surroundings. If you were living in the ’90s, you wouldn’t be in this sleek yoga studio. Instead, you’d find yourself in a crowded gym, waiting for step aerobics while a guy in oversized shorts attempted to flirt with you. You might find it uncomfortable, but keep in mind that back then, such behavior was often brushed off as harmless banter. You’d likely be counting the seconds until class began.
Dating in the ’90s
And let’s not forget dating. You do realize that Tinder didn’t exist in the ’90s, right? Meeting someone back then involved making awkward small talk with strangers in bars. A phone number scrawled on a napkin was the equivalent of a right swipe today. Often, that didn’t happen, making the ’90s a surprisingly lonely time.
Social Media
Social media? There was none. Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook were nonexistent. Hashtags were only seen in places like Amsterdam’s Red Light District. Your vacation photos lived in dusty albums, dinners were shared privately, and random thoughts were scribbled in journals. When you made plans, you stuck to them because, without cell phones, canceling was simply not an option.
Communication
Communication was a different ballgame. We relied on landlines and phone books, wrote letters and sent them through the mail. When we first got email, it was a thrilling experience, even if it meant dealing with long, cumbersome addresses. The excitement of instant communication was palpable, although our dial-up internet often disrupted phone calls. As you might say, the struggle was very real.
The Reality of the ’90s
The ’90s were not all glamorous. It’s a common misconception that everyone looked like the characters from “Friends.” In reality, that iconic haircut was often a disaster once tackled at home, and mullets were a pervasive trend. Your boss likely sported one, as did many others—even celebrities like Princess Diana.
Musical Landscape
Musically, I’ll concede that you missed out on some gems. Yet for every brilliant artist like Lauryn Hill, there was a less-than-stellar one like Billy Ray Cyrus. For every Radiohead, there was a Right Said Fred. The Macarena was, undeniably, a cultural phenomenon.
Fashion Trends
As for fashion, your generation might view ’90s style as a collection of regrettable fanny packs. But would you really wear them with high-waisted Girbaud jeans and mock turtlenecks? Because that was the norm back then. You’d likely have a scent of CK One mixed with secondhand smoke, as smoking was common—often in restaurants.
Cultural Touchpoints
And though Kim Kardashian wasn’t around, her father, Robert Kardashian, was. We were glued to the O.J. Simpson trial, sacrificing precious TV time for courtroom drama. Other bizarre cultural touchpoints included a navy blue dress and the looming fear of Y2K.
Conclusion
In conclusion, your nostalgic feelings for the ’90s come from a sincere place. While that decade had its charm, it was far from the endless music festival fantasy that stores like Urban Outfitters might suggest. Embrace your current era, take those selfies, and enjoy your SmartWater. One day, you will look back at your generation with a newfound appreciation for how it shaped you.
But until that moment arrives? Give my generation a break.
Best,
The Observant Middle-Aged Woman at Yoga
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Summary
This piece humorously contrasts the experiences of today’s twentysomethings with those of the ’90s, highlighting the differences in dating, social media, and communication. Nostalgia for the past is acknowledged, but the realities of the decade are playfully unpacked.