Acknowledging one’s true self is often the first step toward healing and liberation, even when faced with potential backlash from society. Within my circle of friends and family, I’ve shared my unconventional lifestyle choices, but in broader social contexts, I’ve remained reticent. It’s time to be transparent: I have been a sober vegetarian for over 15 years.
This journey has not been without its challenges. My loved ones—family, friends, and even unsuspecting event coordinators—have made commendable efforts to understand and accommodate my choices. Yet, this has not shielded me from feelings of isolation. It’s not the absence of meat or alcohol that leaves me feeling disconnected; rather, it’s the struggle of revealing my lifestyle to the outside world and managing the awkwardness that often follows.
As a result, I find myself explaining my dietary restrictions at gatherings, which can turn into quite the uncomfortable experience. Navigating through parties, I often refuse cocktails, beers, and meat-laden dishes, and I sometimes wish I could just stand on a table and declare my status, followed by a detailed explanation. To sidestep awkward conversations, I’ve been known to pour grape juice into a wine glass, claiming I’m simply not hungry.
There are persistent individuals who, despite my clear preferences, will insist on serving me meat dishes, urging me to just “pick off the parts I don’t want.” While I often imagine retaliating with a tofu-based dish for them, I usually opt for tranquility instead, suppressing those thoughts.
But it’s not just meat-eaters who try to “save” me; I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve poured drinks—alcoholic beverages—down the drain, attempting to be polite during toasts or social interactions. To anyone I’ve offended with this wastefulness, I sincerely apologize.
I understand that being honest is the best approach, yet I often find myself opting for silence to avoid a barrage of questions about my choices. This leads to unsolicited advice about the supposed health risks of my lifestyle, including claims of iron and protein deficiencies. The past 15 years have been a delicate balancing act, navigating the complexities of being both sober and vegetarian in a world dominated by meat and alcohol.
I’ve decided it’s time to release the shame I’ve carried for so long. I apologize to the countless waitstaff who may have misunderstood my orders, thinking I’d forgotten to specify “no meat.” I also forgive those friends and family members who suggest restaurants with only side salads as vegetarian options. Furthermore, I acknowledge the times I’ve secretly added tofu to meals for significant others in the hopes of converting them to my way of eating.
To my neighbors, I apologize for misleading them with the aroma of grilled meat when I was, in fact, cooking eggplant marinated in steak sauce. And to every Super Bowl party attendee, please forgive me for secretly enjoying your nonalcoholic beverages while you indulged in meatless wings. Lastly, to my closest friends who have endured my attempts at creating strong drinks for entertainment, I hope you can forgive me for the hangovers and the photos I’ve shared while sober.
Fifteen years is a lengthy period to live in secrecy. I recognize that any discomfort felt by those around me won’t disappear overnight, but with the support of my loved ones, I can confidently embrace my identity. “My name is Jordan, and I am a sober vegetarian, and that is entirely acceptable.”
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Summary
In this reflection, Jordan Thompson shares the complexities of living as a sober vegetarian for over 15 years, discussing the challenges of social interactions, the misunderstandings from friends and family, and the journey towards self-acceptance. By confessing their experiences, Jordan aims to alleviate feelings of shame and foster understanding among others.