Updated: Feb. 10, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 25, 2015
If you were to listen closely at my home last night, you would have heard my child exclaiming that I am “the meanest mom ever!” as loud protests echoed through the house. My child stormed off to his room, frustrated because I wouldn’t let him swim at the neighbor’s house. Again.
With my son now in school, his days are jam-packed with activities that begin at dawn when he catches the school bus and conclude at bedtime after he finishes his homework and returns from kung fu lessons twice a week. That’s a significant amount of structured time for a young child.
To counteract this increasingly busy schedule, I enforce “unstructured time” several days a week. This practice is aimed at preserving my son’s childhood, allowing him to explore his curiosity and creativity. In my own childhood, this was simply referred to as free time or quiet time. In our household, we call it bored time, and it encourages my son to engage his imagination and come up with inventive ways to spend his time.
During unstructured time, screens are off-limits. No smartphones, tablets, or social media. Instead, we have a modest library of books and a craft table overflowing with materials to create a multitude of projects. He can go outside, invent stories, sing songs, or even engage in silly dance-offs. Once, we even had a staring contest that left my eyes twitching for the remainder of the evening.
Childhood is fleeting, and I believe it should not be cluttered with excessive activities that rush us through time. When we take a moment to slow down, breathe, and truly engage with each other, I witness what truly matters to my son, like his fascination with a particular ash tree in our yard where he once discovered a butterfly cocoon.
During these sessions, my son shares elaborate stories filled with whimsical characters, such as farting pirates and kung fu monkeys. He opens up about his hopes and fears, feeling safe to confide in me and my partner. These moments of unstructured time—dedicated to family bonding or allowing my son to explore and create independently—serve as vital catalysts for our relationship, one that I am committed to nurturing.
As he matures and extracurricular activities become more appealing, I know maintaining this tradition will be challenging. I limit him to one extracurricular activity per school year, ensure we have dinner together, and allocate weekends for family time. Screens remain unplugged as we adhere to this household rule, leveraging boredom to inspire creativity and enjoyment.
After my son completed his stomping and sulking, we talked about how uncool he thinks unstructured time is. As he yawned through his critique of my “silly rules,” he proudly showed me a drawing of a rocket ship he wants to construct from cardboard after school. He even speculated on how much duct tape we would need to create an escape hatch for potential alien invaders.
While my child may display frustration when faced with unstructured time, I am confident that he will eventually recognize its value. These moments devoid of screens and schedules—free from social pressures and expectations—will help him grow into a person who can appreciate life’s simple wonders, like a butterfly cocoon.
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Summary:
In this article, the author emphasizes the importance of unstructured time for children amid busy schedules. Mandating “bored time” helps foster creativity, family bonding, and personal growth in children, encouraging them to explore their imaginations and develop communication skills.