My 4-year-old son, Ethan, embodies many traits of a typical child. He loves to run around, engage in playful tickle fights, dance to catchy tunes, enjoy games on my phone, and listen to captivating bedtime stories. However, his autism distinguishes him from his peers in significant ways. Raising a nonverbal child presents unique challenges, often exacerbated by misconceptions from those around him. Here are five key insights I wish people would recognize about Ethan:
- His Silence Does Not Imply Ignorance
Just because Ethan doesn’t speak doesn’t mean he isn’t listening. Language comprises two parts: expressive and receptive skills. We’ve confirmed through hearing tests that his receptive language is normal in one ear. I admit, I sometimes forget this too, and I suspect that if he ever does start talking, the first words might be the colorful language he hears in the car. Please don’t treat him as if he isn’t present or resort to baby talk. Speak to him as you would any child—he’s perceptive and knows when people underestimate him. - He Has a Unique Sense of Humor
Ethan possesses a delightful sense of humor and a hint of mischief. His grasp of sarcasm is impressive for his age. When I compliment someone, he often laughs and shakes his head, showcasing his comedic timing. One of his favorite gags is feigning ignorance by touching the wrong object during therapy sessions. He also has a knack for making light of situations, like pretending to high-five his speech therapist but instead running his hand through his hair, much to his amusement. During evaluations, he once stalled on a puzzle, appearing nonchalant the moment the doctor turned around—if he could whistle, he surely would have. - Not All Autism is Like Rain Man
While many reference the film “Rain Man,” it’s important to understand that autism manifests in diverse ways. Ethan won’t provide intricate calculations or display extraordinary talents as depicted in movies. He doesn’t have a hidden gift to offset his unique neurological wiring. Even if he did have a special skill, I wouldn’t force him to showcase it as a novelty. - He Can Read People Exceptionally Well
Ethan has an uncanny ability to understand social dynamics, almost like a seasoned negotiator. He can identify who is easily influenced and skillfully navigate interactions to his advantage. His charm often leads him to manipulate situations for his benefit—he knows how to get others to do things for him. Despite his adorable nature, I have to clarify to caregivers that I cannot hold him all day. He’s a lively boy, weighing 45 pounds and standing 4 feet tall! - He is More Than His Autism
While you might see a child who is quietly observing or flapping his hands, Ethan is so much more than that. He is a vibrant little boy who struggles to communicate effectively. Please do not undervalue him, as all individuals deserve respect, and you would miss out on knowing a truly wonderful child.
This article was originally published on Sep. 21, 2015 and can be found on our blog.
For those interested in family planning, consider visiting this excellent resource for more information on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for practical solutions, check out Make a Mom’s guide for at-home insemination kits.
In conclusion, understanding and empathy are vital when interacting with children like Ethan. By fostering a more inclusive mindset, we can appreciate the richness that every child brings to our lives.