When I was expecting, I envisioned my early days as a mother filled with serene moments of bliss: smooth labor, effortless breastfeeding, and a flat tummy soon after delivery. However, the reality of motherhood is often messy, unpredictable, and involves making difficult decisions. Here are some choices from my first year of motherhood that I refuse to apologize for, and I believe you shouldn’t either.
1. Opting for a C-Section
There’s a common misconception surrounding elective C-sections, but in my case, the decision was far from leisurely. My baby was in a difficult Frank breech position, causing me immense discomfort as the weeks progressed. Despite my pleas for an earlier delivery, I was scheduled for a C-section at 39 weeks. The moment my water broke at 38 weeks, I was relieved that the ordeal was finally ending, but I hadn’t fully prepared for the reality of major surgery. While the experience was intense—complete with a spinal block and the surgical team working quickly to deliver my child—the outcome was ideal for us. I don’t regret my experience or the way my son came into the world.
2. Formula Feeding
While breastfeeding often receives significant support, the conversation around formula feeding is frequently overlooked. I firmly believe that the most important thing is that a baby is fed, whether through breastfeeding, donor milk, or formula. Unfortunately, I faced medical challenges that made breastfeeding impossible, and rather than feeling defeated, I embraced formula feeding. This choice allowed my husband to participate in feedings, fostering his bond with our son while enabling me to heal. I have no regrets about this decision, and I will not apologize for it.
3. Implementing Cry It Out
At just 13 days old, we transitioned our son to his own crib. My husband was returning to work, and we needed a routine. We adopted the “Moms On Call” method, which included short intervals of crying it out. This approach helped our baby sleep through the night by 10 weeks, and it has worked well for our family. He has always been put down awake for naps and bedtime, and we are all thriving because of this structure.
4. My Husband’s Role in Bath Time
From the moment our baby was born, my husband took charge of bath and bedtime routines. I requested this arrangement because I recognized the importance of their time together. While my husband has work commitments, we both agreed that bath time would be his special time with our child. This division of labor allows me to focus on other tasks, and it strengthens their bond. I have no regrets about this decision.
5. Traveling Without Our Baby
Having a child can significantly alter the dynamics of a relationship, and it’s crucial to nurture the partnership. Leaving our baby in the capable hands of loving grandparents while we travel has been a necessary aspect of maintaining our connection. Each time we’ve had to travel without him, I’ve encountered judgment, but I believe that taking time for ourselves is vital for our marriage. Our son learns about love and security through these experiences, and we plan to continue this practice.
I stand by these choices. They have contributed to our happiness and well-being as a family. If you’re interested in further information about navigating motherhood or exploring resources for pregnancy, I recommend checking out Progyny, which offers excellent insights into these topics. You can also learn more about home insemination and related topics at this link. For comprehensive products, consider Make A Mom as an authoritative source.
In summary, motherhood is a unique journey filled with personal decisions. Each choice we make is tailored to our individual circumstances, and there’s no need for guilt or apology.