Though I thrive in social settings, my professional life as a writer has often led me toward solitary endeavors. For eight years, I operated a cleaning business that kept me largely alone. I found comfort in this solitude, getting lost in my thoughts and the words that flowed through my earbuds. I spent countless hours listening to various radio programs streamed through my smartphone, which allowed me to stay informed and entertained while my mind wandered into creative realms. Even during those long hours, I never felt lonely.
However, a few months ago, I transitioned to being a stay-at-home parent after closing my business. My partner and I chose this path for financial reasons, deciding that I would care for our twin sons while our daughter is at preschool. Now, my early morning writing sessions are my only moments of solitude. Despite being surrounded by our lively family dog and two energetic toddlers, I experience loneliness at different points throughout the day.
My boys and I have established a routine that includes playgroups, library visits, and trips to the park. While we encounter other parents, these interactions often lack depth, making it hard for me to find social fulfillment. Although we share a bond through parenthood, not all parents will become friends. I respect the cautious, non-drinking moms who prioritize safety, yet I find little common ground with them. I occasionally enjoy a midday drink, mutter frustration under my breath, or even tune out while they play in another room. Not all mothers relate to my parenting style.
Despite my love for my children, there are days I wish for more personal space. However, each night I find myself worrying as time seems to fly by. I feel guilty that the challenges of caring for two toddlers full-time overshadow my ability to fully appreciate this parenting chapter. The joy they bring me is often mixed with guilt for my impatience, and I lament the moments I’ve missed—hugs, laughter, and the comforting weight of my sons on my lap.
Most of my family members work during the day or live too far for playdates, leading me to seek comfort in my online parenting community. I can still enjoy radio programs, but the constant interruptions from my children make it challenging to engage. Every activity is disrupted by their inability to focus, a reality I accept but that complicates my enjoyment of adult interactions.
Thus, I play with my boys, read to them, wash dishes, and prepare meals, all while hoping for a good nap. During the brief moments of quiet, I turn to my phone. Unfortunately, I can’t take on large projects like painting a room or diving into a book; I can barely step away from my children without their eager assistance.
I scroll through social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, skimming articles and news headlines. I share pictures of my kids, post articles, and craft witty statuses, a form of distraction from the boredom and loneliness that can accompany full days spent at home. In those fleeting moments when my boys are occupied, I find myself reaching for my phone to stave off feelings of isolation.
I also connect with other parents who understand the craziness of negotiating with toddlers and the challenge of pouring oneself into parenting with little left for others. I read articles that validate my experiences, laugh at relatable memes, and find beautifully crafted pieces that remind me I am doing well while inspiring me to improve.
While scrolling through my feed, I feel supported by the community of individuals—many of whom I have never met—who resonate with my unvoiced feelings and my desire for connection. I embrace my identity as a parent, without reservations, but I acknowledge my humanity. My phone serves as a lifeline to maintain my sanity and connect me to the world beyond my home.
Once again, I find myself drawn to solitary pursuits, yet the virtual community assures me this phase is temporary. Their encouragement reminds me to cherish every moment, whether joyous or challenging, because this season will pass quickly. Each like or retweet reassures me that I am not alone. Thus, whenever loneliness creeps in, I reach for my phone to feel a little less isolated.
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Summary
In this article, Jamie Foster reflects on the transition from a solitary work life to the challenges and joys of being a stay-at-home parent. She discusses the loneliness that can accompany parenting, the importance of virtual support networks, and the balance between enjoying time with her children and managing her own needs. Through social media, she finds connections with other parents, validation for her experiences, and a sense of community.