People often confuse my sons for girls. When they do, I gently correct them, using “he” or “him” instead of “she.” Strangers frequently look mortified and mumble apologies, as if mistaking my sons for girls is a serious faux pas. I simply brush it off with a reassuring smile. After all, when your boys sport long hair, such mix-ups are part of the package.
I’ve always had a fondness for long hair on men. In college, I often encouraged my boyfriends to grow their locks, and I spent years trying to keep my husband from visiting the barber. I adore the look of long hair on little boys, so I knew from the start that I would let my sons’ hair grow.
My first son almost derailed my plans. He arrived bald and remained that way for almost a year. But soon enough, his hair began to grow—albeit in an unexpected way. His hair had a wild, fuzzy quality, reminiscent of a miniature Einstein. In contrast, my second son’s hair grew out straight, shiny, and effortlessly cool, reaching past his shoulders. The youngest is still a bit of a mystery, but he’s growing a glorious set of beachy curls. I couldn’t be happier.
Naturally, my mom and in-laws have their reservations. They prefer the more traditional, neatly trimmed styles for boys. While my in-laws tend to keep their opinions to themselves, my mother has voiced her desire to take the kids for a proper haircut. These concerns often stem from outdated views on gender norms—where short hair is deemed appropriate for boys, and long hair is reserved for girls. I choose to ignore these judgments.
I’ve encountered other criticisms about my sons’ hair as well. Once, someone commented that they looked unkempt. Although I laughed it off initially, I soon realized that a little trim could enhance their hair without sacrificing length. My oldest son’s hair indeed looked wild, frizzing out in all directions. It pained me, but I decided to cut off some of his baby hair to allow the real hair to flourish. To me, he resembled a freshly shorn sheep, but he assures me he enjoys his shorter style and has plans to grow it long again.
The crucial aspect is that my sons are happy with their hair. My oldest is determined to grow it out, while my middle son, sporting his surfer hair, proudly announces that he aims to let it grow down to his knees. The youngest is too young to express his hair preferences yet, but when the time comes, I’ll certainly ask him. If he chooses to chop it off, I’ll reluctantly comply, albeit with a few sniffles.
My middle son understands that having long hair comes with responsibilities. We need to be careful about things getting tangled in his hair. If that happens, bath time is a must, followed by a thorough shampoo and condition. Each morning, I brush his hair and sometimes straighten it with a flat iron. He claims to enjoy the process, but he knows he has to be still during our morning routine.
Occasionally, other kids confuse them for girls or ask why the “girls” are wearing Star Wars shirts. We correct them, and generally, they grasp the situation. Thankfully, my boys have yet to face ridicule from mean peers regarding their hair. Perhaps it’s becoming more common for boys to have long hair, or maybe it’s simply because I tend to surround myself with free-spirited individuals.
I cherish their long, silky locks. I love that they have the freedom to express themselves through their hair, rather than adhering to outdated norms. Most importantly, I appreciate that their hair reflects who they are. It’s long. It’s beautiful. It’s different from the norm—and that’s something to celebrate.
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In summary, my sons’ long hair is not just a style choice; it’s a celebration of their individuality and self-expression. I fully support their preferences, knowing that hair can be a powerful form of personal identity.
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