Parenthood can be an incredibly rewarding experience. While I may not have an exhaustive list of the positives at this moment, I do enjoy engaging with other parents at the park, and it seems likely that a new family dog will be entering our lives soon, as my child has developed quite the fixation and my partner is unable to say “no.” These are just a couple of the many benefits. Moreover, children have a profound way of altering your outlook on life, prompting personal growth, shifting priorities, and fostering a sense of selflessness—zzz…
Those Z’s are metaphorical, of course, as the flip side of the “I’ve never been happier!” sentiment is that children also rob you of sleep, deplete your finances, disrupt your lifestyle, consume your free time, and, as I’ve discovered, elevate your stress levels.
In my two-plus years as a parent, I have never felt more anxious. While I have enjoyed some remarkable moments witnessing my child’s growth and development, I have also observed my hair transforming from dark to gray overnight, my face becoming more lined, and myself morphing into a frazzled bundle of stress.
The worries that accompany parenthood extend far beyond the typical concerns surrounding jobs, finances, and health. Suddenly, you find yourself preoccupied with matters like SIDS, suffocation risks, sodium intake, screen time, and the potential for bullying or ADHD. You may also ponder if a bumpy, red toy shaped like a phallus is an appropriate influence, along with global issues like nuclear threats and climate change.
The anxiety begins in infancy. Every little thing sparks panic because you feel utterly lost. Is this behavior typical? What about that? Is everything okay? Oh right—just a diaper situation.
You become so tense that even in moments of calm, anxiety persists. When we began sleep training, every night felt like a nerve-racking ordeal. Once my child adjusted, I found myself worrying when he didn’t stir. Why is he so quiet? Is he still breathing? Oh right—just a peaceful slumber.
Over time, you learn to accept silence and trust the process. If prehistoric children could thrive amidst the dangers of their environment (not that I’m a scientist), surely today’s children can manage without a constant surveillance system, right?
Then comes toddlerhood—a stage characterized by their seemingly reckless endeavors. Watching a two-year-old can be a heart-pounding experience. Parenting during this phase is less about what precautions you’re taking and more about what hazards they are oblivious to. Common sense seems to vanish.
In an instant, they’ve climbed the couch, preparing to leap onto the floor or maneuvered furniture to reach the sink and scald themselves. Even during dinner, they might make a choking sound just to get your attention or send your heart into overdrive. Outside, they dash about like wild animals, often on the verge of running into traffic or colliding with obstacles.
They are constantly pushing boundaries, and it can feel like an uphill battle. The worry is compounded by the fact that parental instincts age you prematurely. What once seemed like harmless fun is now a source of dread; you find yourself thinking, “I can’t let them do that!”—and in that moment, you transform into your own parent.
The most challenging aspect of this perpetual anxiety isn’t merely the fear that your child might engage in risky behavior. The hardest truth is that this heightened vigilance will likely persist throughout your life. Regardless of your temperament, the well-being of your child will forever dominate your thoughts, whether they are three months, three years, or thirty years old.
Now I comprehend why my parents still wait up for me when I visit home.
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In summary, while parenting undoubtedly comes with its share of joys, it also brings a host of challenges that can lead to heightened stress and anxiety. The constant worry for our children’s safety and well-being is a reality we must navigate throughout their lives.