I address you as “former” in the hope that the passage of time has fostered a sense of kindness within you.
In our small community, many would readily identify you as the most notorious bully during our school years. Your reign of cruelty extended from elementary through high school and even into college. Thankfully, I was not your only target; I can only imagine the toll it would have taken on me had I been. From my observations, countless classmates fell victim to your unkindness as well.
Your brand of meanness was remarkably sophisticated for your age. You had a knack for manipulating friendships, drawing girls into your circle only to cast them away at will. You instilled a desperate need for your validation and approval, which you would grant momentarily before turning against them. Your hurtful words eroded the self-esteem of girls who should have been blissfully carefree. Do you recall your behavior?
You once followed a girl home from the bus, belting out “Baby Beluga” with abandon. You cruelly labeled a 10-year-old as “pizza face” during her relentless struggle with acne. You falsely accused two classmates of kissing when they were merely dancing and enjoying their youth.
The extent of the damage you caused is likely beyond your comprehension. I managed to navigate middle school without much interaction with you, but you made it a particularly challenging environment for those already facing their own struggles. You targeted those who were different—the girl with short hair, the boy still carrying baby fat.
In high school, our paths crossed again when I dated one of your friend’s ex-boyfriends. The harassment was unrelenting: hurtful remarks in the halls, vandalism of my car, and a barrage of hateful messages. Ironically, your hostility far surpassed that of the ex-girlfriend, suggesting you relished having a target.
Even in college, a few harassing messages emerged from individuals linked to your social circle. I would like to claim I never think of you, but your name still surfaces occasionally through social media and gossip. Everyone has a story about your cruelty, and those painful memories remain etched in their minds.
Recently, I heard you are married and have a child. My immediate thought was, “I hope you raise that child to be compassionate.”
As a mother myself now, I’ve come to realize that children are not innately unkind. Instead, they learn this behavior from their surroundings or act out due to unmet emotional needs. I often find myself wondering what drove your behavior all those years. Was it a lack of love, acceptance, or attention? In a way, I feel sympathy for you.
However, my heart also aches for my child, who is destined to encounter someone like you in various social settings. So, I implore you, from one parent to another—break the cycle of cruelty. Nurture kindness and innocence in your child, and I promise to do the same.
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In summary, as we navigate parenting, let’s choose to foster kindness and compassion in our children, ensuring they grow up to be better than we were.