This year, the excitement of a new school term faded quickly. Not even the allure of shiny school supplies or crisply ironed uniforms could lift the somber atmosphere that descended upon our household as school resumed. It’s only been 13 days, and I’m already eagerly anticipating Thanksgiving, our first prolonged break (74 days away, in case you’re wondering). By day 8, I had exhausted my lunch ideas. On day 10, we overslept. By day 12, I seriously entertained the notion of homeschooling just so we could enjoy a few more hours of sleep past 6:15 AM. My kids’ silence and blank expressions made it clear that this idea was a no-go.
As I sat in the carpool line on day 13, I reminisced about our carefree summer days filled with leisurely mornings, spontaneous beach trips, and s’mores on the patio. I even missed the sand covering my car’s floor mats and could still visualize surfboards wedged between the seats. I longed for a washing machine packed with swimsuits instead of the school polos adorned with our crest.
Then, the doors flew open, and my children clambered in, immediately launching into a heated argument that lasted the entire 20-minute drive home. It was a stark reminder that the idyllic summer I had envisioned was far from reality. I distinctly remember reaching a breaking point around week four of summer when I tearfully called my husband, offering to sell my own blood to secure a spot at any camp—just to end the relentless squabbling. If arguing over trivial matters were an Olympic sport, my children would undoubtedly bring home gold medals.
Here are just 29 of the countless ridiculous things my kids argue about:
- Whose juice glass looks cooler
- The frequency of their arguments (yes, they argue about this)
- Who’s “out” during games like Gaga, butts-up handball, or Nerf Wars
- The identity of the sock lying on the floor
- Disagreements based on personal opinions
- Disagreements based on factual information
- Who greeted the neighbor first
- The expected arrival time of Grandma and Grandpa
- The actual time Grandma and Grandpa arrived
- Who got to hug Grandma and Grandpa first
- The correct method of unloading the dishwasher (neither is proficient)
- The proper technique for scooping dog waste
- Who last fed the dog
- The size comparison of their tortoises
- Who gets the last of any snack
- Who receives the first serving of anything
- The details of last night’s dinner
- The order of sunscreen application at the beach
- Whether the latest Maroon 5 song is overplayed
- The fastest route to school
- Who instigated the latest argument
- Who uses the treadmill and the elliptical (turn-taking is off the table)
- Who gets to unlock the car door
- Who gets to unlock the front door
- Who forgot to close the car door
- Who forgot to close the front door
- The debate between Slurpees and McFlurries
- Who greeted Dad at the door first
- Who greeted Dad at the door first yesterday
Suddenly, the prospect of 74 days until Thanksgiving feels interminable, and the idea of packing lunches seems like a daunting task.
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In summary, the trivial matters that children argue about can often leave parents feeling overwhelmed yet amused. Understanding these disputes can provide a glimpse into the complexity of their interactions, reminding us that even the silliest arguments are part of their growth and development.