Finding my way to marriage was far from effortless. It took seven years before the proposal, and nine years later, we made our way down a rose petal-strewn aisle to exchange vows. The years leading up to that moment were filled with challenges. After nearly 13 years together, it’s clear that our relationship was not a fairytale of instant love. It unfolded gradually, revealing a man uncertain of his desires and a woman resolute in her own.
My aspirations included a loving marriage, a cozy home, and eventually a baby—maybe even a dog. Now, my focus is on providing a better life for our toddler, steering clear of the difficulties posed by the “crack alley” across the street. While it may seem simple to want a brighter future for our family, our journey has been anything but straightforward. Our love is intense, and our disagreements equally so; every aspect of our relationship is charged with emotion.
Outsiders might look at our wedding photos and assume we are perpetually happy. In those moments captured on camera, with me in a champagne-colored wedding gown kissing my husband, it’s easy to draw conclusions about our joy. And we were indeed happy that day. I remember exclaiming “Thank you!” loudly after the officiant pronounced us husband and wife, overwhelmed with gratitude.
However, those joyful images cannot convey the struggles that led us to that church on a sweltering July evening. I will never misrepresent our marriage; it requires effort and commitment, much like motherhood. There have been occasions when one of us felt like giving up. We have sat on the floor, facing one another, and uttered “I hate you”—and we meant it. There were moments when one of us walked away, and yet we never truly broke up for more than a day. We’ve always found our way back.
Through times of anger and resentment, I learned to embrace love again. I invested deeply in another person’s life and eventually redirected that investment toward myself. I began to prioritize my health and self-esteem, ultimately learning to appreciate my own body and spirit.
Before marrying him, I had to learn to love myself completely. He supported me during my struggles with self-image, even when I felt unworthy of love. I recall a time when I questioned how he could still be attracted to me after gaining weight. I loathed my own reflection, hiding behind insecurities and self-doubt. Yet, he always saw beyond the surface, loving the person within.
He stood by me through tumultuous times, including struggles with addiction and reckless behavior. He loved me even when I faltered, when I lost my way. Despite it all, he chose to start a family with me. I’ve lived through various challenges, and through each one, his love remained steadfast.
His unconditional support helped me become the mother I always aspired to be. People often see the smiles in our photos and the joy we portray on social media, but they are unaware of the trials we’ve endured.
Navigating the roles of girlfriend, wife, and now mother has been a journey filled with resilience and hard work. Despite moments when we perhaps should have parted ways, we choose to stay together. Today, as we play with our child, we cherish our bond and express gratitude for our unwavering determination to make it work.
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In summary, my marriage has evolved over time through hard work, dedication, and unyielding love. Our journey has been filled with challenges, but it has also led to immense joy and fulfillment in our family life.