When my daughter, Mia, hit the age of 2, she began to resemble a little version of her dad, and her beauty truly blossomed. Her hair falls perfectly in a charmingly tousled part, with dark roots contrasting beautifully against her baby curls. Honestly, every time I gaze at her, I have an overwhelming urge to squeeze her cheeks—an instinct that is somehow biologically hardwired into us. However, I hold back, as the saying goes, you can’t eat your kids and have them too, right?
I’m sure many parents feel the same way about their little ones. They’re designed to be irresistibly cute, after all. Even during those challenging moments—like when she throws a tantrum over wanting a specific flavor of yogurt or has a meltdown over the smallest things—we instinctively want to protect and cherish these delightful beings. We wouldn’t dream of sending them off into the world to find another caregiver who knows exactly how to soothe them.
Approaching the Topic of Beauty
So, how do we approach the topic of beauty when it comes to our daughters? With my son, I found it straightforward. He’s a handsome little guy, and I occasionally called him my “handsome dude,” but that was usually the extent of it. With Mia, however, I find myself hesitating. I often say, “You’re so beautiful!” but quickly follow it up with, “And smart! And funny! You are all those things too!”
This uncertainty stems from our society’s tendency to objectify women from a young age. Think about it: from bows to Bratz dolls to our obsession with beautiful princesses, it starts early. Women, including ourselves, often question our beauty and the societal weight it carries. The more I reflect, the more I see beauty as a double-edged sword, one that can often overshadow other admirable qualities.
Beauty vs. Character
One reason I prefer to couple compliments on beauty with remarks about her intelligence or humor is that beauty, on its own, can feel rather superficial. While everyone may desire to be considered beautiful, I want my daughter to aspire to be interesting and engaging. Traits like creativity, wit, and kindness contribute to a person’s depth and make them enjoyable to be around. Unlike beauty, which can seem like a fixed trait, these qualities can be nurtured and developed. By highlighting Mia’s funny moments or clever ideas, I hope to fuel her growth in these areas.
Additionally, I worry that traditional notions of beauty are fleeting. While aspects like humor and intelligence endure over time, beauty will inevitably fade. I often ponder why society goes to such lengths to stave off aging. In truth, as we age, we move closer to wisdom and experiences that make us truly beautiful. The most remarkable individuals I know are often those who wear their wrinkles proudly, having lived full, rich lives. Wrinkles, in my eyes, are beauty marks that tell a story.
The Importance of Kindness
I also recognize that some of the most beautiful people I know embody kindness. They listen, offer support, and create an environment of warmth. Kindness is a conscious choice that requires effort, unlike the arbitrary standards of beauty. As Roald Dahl famously stated, “I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being.” It’s a quality that everyone can cultivate.
Moreover, confidence plays a significant role in how we perceive beauty. I fondly remember a crush I had as a child. He may not have been classically handsome, but his confidence made him incredibly attractive.
Nurturing Mia’s Self-Esteem
Returning to how I discuss beauty with Mia, I want her to feel secure in herself. My own grandfather would affectionately call me “beautiful” during our visits, and that reassurance shaped my self-esteem throughout my life—even during those awkward teenage years.
For now, my approach is straightforward. Mia receives plenty of compliments about her beauty from others, and she has her own grandfather who reminds her of her beauty every chance he gets. So, I’ll focus on nurturing her character. I’ll celebrate her intelligence, creativity, and kindness, ensuring she understands that these traits are equally, if not more, important than beauty.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while beauty is often acknowledged, I want Mia to know that her worth lies in her character and the positive impact she can have on the world. By emphasizing her unique traits, I hope to shape her understanding of beauty into something more meaningful.
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