A few weeks ago, my in-laws took care of my toddler for a night, allowing my partner and me to celebrate our anniversary. The next morning, we headed to my parents’ house to say goodbye to my two younger siblings—one headed to law school in Oregon, and the other off to spend a year in Australia. We capped off the weekend with a family gathering at my in-laws’ place on Sunday. It was quite an eventful weekend.
Naturally, by the time Sunday night came around, our toddler was thoroughly worn out. A night spent with the grandparents and a lack of naps can do that to a 2-year-old. You might assume that a tired toddler would fall asleep easily, but if you’re a parent, you know that fatigue often leads to more sleeplessness. Instead of drifting off peacefully, he was pumped full of toddler energy, resisting sleep until he finally surrendered. By the time he closed his eyes, we were exhausted, clinging to the hope of a later wake-up the next morning. We were mistaken.
Stage 1: Denial
You’re fast asleep, enveloped in peace, when a faint cry jolts you awake. As the wailing grows louder, confusion sets in. Is that really him? What time is it? He can’t be awake! You will yourself to ignore the escalating cries, hoping it’s just a passing nightmare. Surely he’ll stop soon. But the cries only intensify, and he starts calling for you. Your partner stirs, querying whether that’s your child. You keep quiet, hoping he’ll handle it and you can return to your slumber. As you bury your face in your pillow, you can’t help but smile, thinking, “I chose the right partner.”
Stage 2: Anger
You huddle under the covers, trying to fall back asleep, but the ongoing dialogue between your partner and the toddler is impossible to ignore. “What’s wrong?” “Mommy!” “Do you want me to sing to you?” “No, Mommy!” Your frustration mounts as all day he wanted his father, but now that you crave sleep, he demands you! Ugh! Your partner then informs you, “He wants you.” You express your annoyance in the darkness with a dramatic sigh and a flinging of the blanket.
Stage 3: Bargaining
With great reluctance, you drag yourself out of bed and shuffle into your toddler’s room. There he is, standing in his crib, at least safely contained. He points to the chair beside him and demands, “Song!” Thus begins the bargaining. “Alright, one song, and then it’s back to sleep.” You croak out the ABCs, pondering why your raspy, middle-of-the-night voice is so appealing. As you try to leave, he interrupts with a request for water. “Okay, one small drink, then sleep,” you say, only to find yourself ensnared in a cycle of more water, more hugs, and more songs.
Stage 4: Depression
You start to feel hopeless. It seems you’ll never sleep again, destined to remain in this room for hours, begging a tiny human to just go to sleep. You slump into the chair, resting your head on the railing, fighting back tears. You glance at your toddler, who appears to be enjoying himself, jumping and laughing without a care. You mourn the loss of precious nighttime hours. You blink away the tears and begin to count them silently.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You wipe away the tears and scoop your toddler from the crib. He snuggles into your shoulder as you return to your bedroom. You lay him down beside you, declaring, “You can sleep here tonight, but you must be good.” You chuckle to yourself, wondering what “sleep nicely” even means. As you settle in next to him, you think, “For tonight, this isn’t so bad.” However, around 4:30 a.m., you’re abruptly awakened by a tiny foot to the face, reminding you of the reality of “sleep nicely.”
In summary, navigating the experience of parenting a toddler who struggles to sleep can be a tumultuous journey filled with denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, ultimately, acceptance. Understanding these stages may help parents cope with the challenges of sleepless nights. For additional insights on related topics like pregnancy and home insemination, you might find valuable resources at WHO’s pregnancy page or explore Intracervical Insemination for a deeper understanding. If you’re interested in home insemination kits, check out Cryobaby’s offerings for more information.