Who would have thought I was doing it all wrong? My children are thriving; they excel academically, display wonderful personalities, treat each other well, and show respect to others. I genuinely believe they are on the path to becoming responsible adults and contributing members of society. However, my confidence often wavers when I scroll through my social media feed, which bombards me with the idea that I’m falling short as a parent.
How can I not feel this way? My feed is populated with seemingly perfect parenting updates, alarming news articles about children, diverse opinions from various social and religious perspectives, and countless medical studies. Among the voices are self-proclaimed parenting experts—be they sanctimonious mothers, overprotective parents, or those who advocate for free-range parenting. It often feels like an overwhelming buffet of conflicting parenting philosophies, each more extreme than the last. It’s a wonder I can face another day of motherhood without second-guessing myself. If I absorbed everything I read, I would certainly feel like I’m ruining my children. And if I were a new mom in my twenties or expecting my first child? I can only imagine how daunting that would be in this era.
Is anyone really getting it right? Based on a typical week’s worth of social media posts and comments, here are numerous ways you might be perceived as not measuring up in your parenting journey:
- If you had a C-section: You failed to pursue a natural birth. You must be weak.
- If you opted for a drug-free hospital birth: You are shaming those who needed pain relief. Why make it a contest of endurance?
- If you had a medicated hospital birth: Clearly, you couldn’t handle the pain. Have you considered the effects of medication on your baby?
- If you chose a home birth: Who does that? With modern medicine, it’s risky. You could have put both lives in jeopardy.
- If you breastfed: You’re flaunting your parenting choices and making others feel inadequate. Not everyone finds it easy.
- If you formula-fed: You gave up too soon. It’s not that difficult; your body is made for this.
- If you did both: You couldn’t stick to one method? You should have committed to one approach.
- If you co-slept: You’re endangering your child. Future development will suffer from this behavior.
- If your baby slept in a crib: Don’t you want your baby close by? It’s better for their emotional development.
- If you used disposable diapers: They contain harmful chemicals and contribute to landfill waste.
- If you used cloth diapers: Scraping waste off fabric? Really? We’re in the 21st century, not the pioneer days.
- If you made homemade baby food: Seriously, who has time for that? Store-bought organic options are just as good.
- If you bought baby food: How can you not find time to prepare wholesome food? It’s your responsibility.
- If you potty-trained after age 3: Way too late! They should be trained by 18 months.
- If you potty-trained at 18 months: That’s unrealistic. They will be ready when they are ready.
- If you send your kids to public school: You’re putting them with the average kids who don’t care about education.
- If you choose private school: Are you just wealthy, or do you have a religious agenda?
- If you homeschool: Why would you want to be with your kids all day? It can lead to social awkwardness.
- If your daughters wear dresses and play with dolls: You’re reinforcing outdated gender roles and limiting their potential.
- If your sons play with toy guns: Are you not aware of the dangers? Only non-violent toys should be allowed.
- If your son plays sports: You’re perpetuating gender stereotypes. He should explore cooking and gardening instead.
- If your daughter enjoys traditional feminine activities: You’re setting her up for a life of domesticity.
- If you tell your daughter she’s pretty: Don’t do that! She’ll only see herself as a pretty face.
- If you ignore her looks: Now she may seek validation from others in unhealthy ways.
- If you allow your son to cry: Boys shouldn’t express vulnerability.
- If you discourage tears: This is why we have emotional men who can’t handle their feelings.
- If you let your kids go to sleepovers: You could be exposing them to unsafe situations.
- If you don’t allow sleepovers: You’re denying them wonderful childhood experiences.
- If you permit swearing: You’re not being a responsible parent; it’s undignified.
- If you forbid it: Teens must express themselves freely, including swearing.
- If you let your daughter date at 16: You’re inviting trouble.
- If you wait until she’s 18: That’s too late; she needs experience.
- If you allow her to wear revealing clothing: You’re sending a dangerous message.
- If you enforce modesty: Are you implying that all men are potential predators?
- If you work full-time: How can you leave your kids all day? Don’t you want to be there for them?
- If you stay home: Not working is a poor example for your children; they need to see women succeed in the workforce.
What I hope for, and what is crucial for us as parents and individuals, is mutual support. Even if others’ parenting styles differ from yours, it is important to recognize that every family has its own approach. Instead of judgment, extend understanding and encouragement. Parenting is challenging enough without feeling like you’re failing.
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Summary
Parenting can feel overwhelming in the face of constant judgment from social media. From birthing choices to educational paths, many aspects of parenting are scrutinized. It’s essential to foster a culture of support and understanding among parents, regardless of differing views.