Yesterday morning, I did something I never thought I would: I brought all four of my kids along to my psychiatrist appointment. Normally, I guard this time fiercely, treating it like my sacred space—much like those OB checkups I had during my pregnancies. It’s a moment carved out just for me, where I can focus on my mental well-being without juggling the needs of my children.
Let’s be honest, though; part of me was also avoiding the uncomfortable conversations that could arise. Questions like, “Mommy, why do you go to the psychiatrist?” or “Do I have to go, too?” made me uneasy. Despite my efforts to be open about living with Bipolar Disorder and advocating against the stigma of mental illness, I didn’t want my children to see me as someone who’s perpetually struggling. I have been transparent about my journey, even co-editing a bestselling anthology on mental health, but I still felt a sense of shame about needing this kind of help.
This week, I realized that my reluctance to take my kids was not just about convenience, but a desire to shield them from the less glamorous parts of my life. However, when my usual childcare options fell through and time was running out, I faced a choice: cancel my appointment or embrace the chaos and bring my kids with me.
Perspective is everything, especially when living with mental illness. The hefty cancellation fee certainly played a role in my decision, but it was more than that. I recognized that if I truly want to help dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health, I needed to show my children a real and honest part of my life. By allowing them to witness this aspect of my mental health management, I could help normalize seeking professional help.
As we entered the waiting room, my sons held doors open for others and struck up friendly conversations, just as they would in any other doctor’s office. It’s essential to challenge the stereotypes surrounding mental illness, which often depict those of us living with it in a negative light. I wanted my kids to see that a visit to a mental health professional is as normal as visiting a pediatrician.
During my appointment, they joined me in the nurse’s room, where they even chimed in when she asked about my symptoms. It was both amusing and sobering to hear their honest observations about my sleep patterns and irritability! They also accompanied me into the doctor’s office, sharing their delight over the comfortable chairs and answering questions when prompted. Before we left, they even shared hugs with the nurse and doctor, showing that kindness knows no bounds.
I want my children to understand that anyone they meet seeking help for mental health is making a brave choice to address their issues. By being open about my journey, I hope to teach them that discussing mental health is not something to be ashamed of.
I also considered how their presence might impact the other patients in the office. The warmth of well-behaved children can create a more relaxed atmosphere in what can often feel like a clinical setting. I made sure they were polite and respectful, but I didn’t silence their natural exuberance. Breaking down the barriers of stigma is essential, and I believe that by fostering a more open environment, we can help ease the tension many feel when seeking mental health care.
Many individuals wait nervously in their cars, hoping to avoid being seen entering a mental health facility. It’s a stark contrast to how people approach other types of medical appointments. There’s no shame in seeking help for a physical ailment, and it’s time we extend that same understanding to mental health.
If you’re navigating life with a mental illness, I encourage you to speak openly with your loved ones about your experiences. Not only will this help them understand you better, but it will also demonstrate that it’s perfectly okay to seek help when needed.
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Summary: Bringing my kids to my psychiatrist appointment was a transformative experience that challenged my perspective on mental health and stigma. By exposing them to this aspect of my life, I aimed to normalize mental health discussions and demonstrate that seeking help is a courageous and necessary step for many.
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