As my daughter prepares to embark on her kindergarten journey, I find myself contemplating how to approach school lunches. Reflecting on my own experience as a child in public school during the ’90s, I recall being strictly prohibited from enjoying the cafeteria offerings. My mother, concerned about my numerous allergies and the perceived unhealthiness of school meals, opted for packed lunches instead.
A glance at our district’s current lunch menu reveals little improvement over the years. Fried options like burgers, chicken, and cheese dominate the selections, along with daily chocolate milk that could easily pass for dessert. While the high levels of salt, sugar, and unhealthy fats are concerning, what truly troubles me is the lack of appeal in these institutional meals. I understand that schools face challenges in providing nutritious and appealing meals within strict budgetary constraints. However, if my child is presented with the choice of cafeteria food—which I suspect is only marginally better than hospital fare—shouldn’t I insist on packing her lunch every single time?
Actually, I’m inclined to say no, and here’s why: Growing up, my inability to partake in school lunches made them seem all the more enticing. The aroma of grilled cheese and tomato soup wafting down the halls was a weekly torment. I still find myself reminiscing about American Chop Suey—a dish of elbow macaroni, ground beef, and tomato sauce—that I occasionally recreate to relive those memories. My food restrictions led to some wild behavior; I once consumed 17 Twinkies in a single sitting, landing myself in the hospital. I might be unique in my nostalgic fantasies about cafeteria lunches from three decades ago.
Despite my judgment of the school lunches as unappetizing, I must acknowledge that this is merely my perspective. Recently, my daughter devoured a less-than-appetizing burger and limp fries from a questionable diner, declaring it one of the best meals she’d ever had. This experience illustrates that her taste buds are still developing, and it’s essential for her to explore a variety of foods. Shielding her from certain options by labeling them as “disgusting” could inadvertently make them more alluring.
I have been following the principles of Ellyn Satter, which advocate for a “division of responsibility” in feeding children. Parents decide what foods to present, while children choose what—and how much—they wish to eat. I could assert my authority by preparing packed lunches that she must accept, but completely restricting her from school lunches may backfire, creating a forbidden food allure akin to my own childhood experiences. Satter suggests allowing children to enjoy treats without restraint occasionally to help them learn self-regulation.
I believe the same approach applies to school lunches: we’ll review the menu together and select a couple of days each week for my daughter to purchase lunch rather than bring one from home. This decision is rooted in the understanding that school lunches represent an introduction to a larger issue—navigating the plethora of choices available in the real world, many of which may not be healthy or particularly satisfying. Satter’s philosophy allows children to engage with cultural norms while equipping them with skills to make informed dietary choices as adults. As they mature, they will encounter vending machines, fast food outlets, and various dining experiences. Our hope is to instill a foundation of nutritious meals at home while also granting them the flexibility to enjoy the occasional less-than-ideal fare—like a stale Danish—without making it a significant concern.
Ultimately, my daughter may find school lunches to be delicious rather than disgusting. Schools are now offering healthier options, such as kale salads and ginger-sesame coleslaw, which were not available in my day. However, one dish remains conspicuously absent: American Chop Suey.
In summary, navigating school lunches can be a balancing act for parents. Allowing children to experience cafeteria meals, while also providing guidance on healthy eating, can foster a positive relationship with food. By giving kids the freedom to choose, we prepare them for the broader food landscape they will encounter throughout their lives.