“Is he in school yet?”
This question has been recurrent ever since my son, Oliver, took his first steps. It comes from various sources: fellow parents at the playground, curious caregivers, and distant relatives.
Why the obsession with whether my young child is attending school?
Honestly, I don’t hold a strong opinion regarding preschool. I understand that for many families, full-day preschool is essential due to work obligations, while for others, the costs can be prohibitive. For those who opt for it, preschool can offer enjoyable experiences for children and a welcome break for parents. My older son attended preschool, and it was a positive experience overall.
However, I take issue with the notion that young children need formal schooling to thrive—that failing to start early could disadvantage them academically in the future.
This has led me to question the urgency for children to enter a school environment. What is it that I might be missing? Many toddler programs appeal to parents by promising educational benefits for their little ones. During my older son’s preschool experience, they even provided progress reports outlining his educational achievements.
I find that notion misleading.
What Should Toddlers and Preschoolers Be Doing?
What exactly should toddlers and preschoolers be doing all day? They might explore the yard for ants, which is a form of scientific inquiry. They could run around counting dandelions, engaging in basic math. Or they might tear through the library, excitedly searching for a book about trucks, which is a way of fostering literacy.
It’s not that I avoid teaching my children, or that learning can’t occur in various settings. If they show interest, I gladly introduce them to concepts like shapes, letters, and numbers. Both my kids have displayed curiosity, and I find joy in that. Yet, many kids are indifferent to formal learning at a young age, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
Having spent time in spaces filled with toddlers, I can attest that when they gather together, squirming and tossing plastic toys, true learning is unlikely to occur. Organized lessons for that age group mostly happen through one-on-one interactions and experiential learning.
The Role of Socialization
While preschool can indeed provide an enjoyable social environment, it’s not the sole avenue for developing social skills. Playdates serve similar purposes, and children learn by interacting with their surroundings, being read to, and having time to explore freely.
I am fortunate to be a mostly full-time parent, allowing me to approach education at a relaxed pace. Oliver is turning three this fall, and I opted not to enroll him in preschool. Unlike his older brother, he doesn’t appear ready yet. We will engage in regular activities with other children, and I’ll take breaks for my own sanity (thank you, Aunt Rachel!).
Most importantly, I plan to cherish the unstructured time that fosters his growth. I’ll observe him as he learns in his unique way and at his own pace. I’ll introduce him to numbers, letters, and stories only if he shows interest. I’ll also focus on teaching him about kindness, love, and friendship.
If he expresses interest in preschool down the line (and it fits within our budget), I might consider enrollment. However, I won’t rush him into it, and I will have realistic expectations about its role. I recognize that while preschool can enrich a child’s experience, it is not a compulsory component of their education. Discovery, learning, and play can flourish outside a formal classroom setting. I hope more people come to realize this and appreciate the myriad valid ways children can grow and thrive.
Further Reading
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In summary, I believe that allowing children the freedom to learn organically at their own pace is invaluable. Formal preschool is not the only path to socialization and education; exploration and play can serve just as well.