Each morning, I start my day by scrolling through social media to catch up on what’s happened while I slept. At this point in my life, I’m often greeted by a wave of pregnancy announcements and baby pictures. I adore these posts, showcasing radiant mothers and their snuggly infants. However, recently, I’ve noticed an alarming trend regarding Planned Parenthood.
Initially, I was reluctant to watch the related videos, fearing they would upset me given my own circumstances. To my surprise, I found myself more anxious about the future of the organization. They have faced numerous challenges, but this latest assault has united even those who typically support the pro-choice movement. Coincidentally, this all surfaces during an election cycle, as new abortion restrictions emerge at both state and federal levels. Now, I genuinely comprehend what women might lose.
To provide some context, I am an OB/GYN. I trained in a hospital that, due to state funding in a very conservative area, did not perform abortions. Consequently, I rarely encountered women who required them. Nevertheless, I have always identified as pro-choice, believing that no one can judge another’s reproductive choices unless they’ve walked in their shoes.
My own pregnancy had progressed without any issues. We decided to try for a second child just before my son turned two, and to our surprise, I conceived in the first month of trying—after needing infertility treatment for my first pregnancy. Although I experienced nausea for the first 16 weeks, it was more manageable than my previous experience. As I started to feel better, others began to notice my growing belly, and I embraced the excitement.
At under 12 weeks, we received the results of early genetic screenings, which were all negative for various conditions. We were thrilled to learn we were having a girl. Being familiar with the potential complications that can arise in pregnancy, I felt justifiably concerned. Despite my initial worries, the genetic tests were normal, and I had glimpsed my baby on ultrasound. I started shopping for cute baby clothes and decor, even discussing our daughter with my son.
When I reached nearly 20 weeks, we had our anatomy ultrasound with high-risk OB specialists. My husband, also an OB/GYN, knew the sonographer, and we joked about our baby girl’s shyness in revealing her gender. However, the mood shifted dramatically during the heart examination. The sonographer struggled to obtain the necessary images, using terms like “overriding” and “stenosis”—familiar terms to me but alarming nonetheless. His touch on my hand signaled that something was amiss, and I realized the gravity of the situation.
A high-risk doctor joined us, and the atmosphere grew tense as they continued their scans. We left the appointment knowing something was wrong with our daughter’s heart, but without any specifics. They mentioned the option of an amniocentesis, but I hesitated, fearing the results wouldn’t be definitive. The 20-week, 6-day cutoff for termination in our state lingered in my mind, but I didn’t dwell on it—the heart defect was daunting, but we believed we could manage it.
After much deliberation, we opted for the amnio, hoping for reassuring results. The same doctor conducted the procedure, and though it was uncomfortable, we felt relieved afterward. However, the subsequent fetal echo revealed a more serious diagnosis: Tetralogy of Fallot with absent pulmonary valve. Those four words shattered our sense of hope.
The cardiologist informed us that our baby’s pulmonary arteries were enlarged, potentially causing severe complications. The possibility of her not surviving the birth loomed over us. He presented grim statistics, and each time he mentioned “if you choose to continue the pregnancy,” the reality of our situation hit harder. We were just shy of the cutoff.
After a weekend of grappling with the diagnosis, we knew we had to consider our options. We sought a second opinion, desperate for clarity. The new cardiologist confirmed the initial diagnosis and discussed the likelihood of our daughter needing extensive medical care, which could be torturous for her. The thought of subjecting a baby to prolonged suffering was unbearable.
We ultimately faced the heartbreaking decision of whether to terminate the pregnancy, knowing that choosing to do so might spare our daughter from a life of pain. We felt the weight of our choice, wondering if it was selfish to prioritize our family’s well-being over her potential suffering.
After connecting with medical professionals and support groups, we reached a consensus: we could not bring our daughter into a world where her life could be filled with suffering. Though we were fortunate to initiate the termination process quickly, it was emotionally harrowing.
The entire experience highlighted the gravity of the 20-week abortion ban. Such legislation disregards the complexities of individual circumstances, rendering women powerless in the face of life-altering decisions. It’s imperative to advocate for the rights of women, ensuring they retain autonomy over their reproductive choices. For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post on intracervical insemination.
In summary, the narrative illustrates how a 20-week abortion ban can severely impact women facing dire medical circumstances, stripping them of their autonomy and options. It underscores the importance of understanding individual cases, advocating for reproductive rights, and ensuring that women have the ability to make informed choices about their health and futures.