Updated: December 20, 2015
Originally Published: August 16, 2015
As a parent, my optimism often leads me astray, particularly when it comes to anticipating my children’s ability to remain quiet during a 45-minute work call. The summer months, after-school chaos, and seemingly endless early-release days can turn into a cacophony of noise at the worst possible moments. Despite my children being relatively still and absorbed in their devices, the second I dial into a work conference, chaos erupts. My son decides to experiment with grilled cheese sandwiches, which inevitably triggers the smoke alarm. A swarm of friends bursts into the house, and my daughter can turn the slightest inconvenience into a dramatic performance worthy of an award. This often leads me to seek out unconventional locations for my work calls, making me grateful that most of my clients prefer phone calls over video conferencing.
1. The Closet
When all else fails, the closet becomes my refuge. With three doors between me and the kids, it’s my best option for sound isolation. Hiding behind winter coats provides a surprisingly effective sound barrier—though I wouldn’t know this from personal experience.
2. The Backyard
At times, the closet feels too far away, and the noise levels inside the house escalate. In such cases, I make a beeline for the backyard, walking until the shouts of my son and his friends fade away. Admittedly, I’ve received some curious glances from neighbors as I pace around the woods behind their houses, engaged in phone discussions. On one occasion, I spent 20 minutes outside in freezing temperatures—without shoes—while my dogs barked at unseen entities on the porch during a teleseminar for 60 participants. Now, I make sure to wear shoes for any potential escapes.
3. Public Places (Disney World, Museums, Zoos)
This directly contradicts my intention to spend quality time with my children. Yet, whenever I take a day off, it seems like the universe conspires against me. We find a seemingly quiet corner, pull out our devices, and I promise to keep the call brief. But it usually backfires when the loudspeaker announces something like, “Polar bear feeding in five minutes!”
4. The Car
There are two scenarios here. In one, I’m driving and a work call comes in. I shout “work call” and miraculously, the kids usually fall silent. This tactic has a 90 percent success rate, and I often finish the call feeling like a supermom for having such well-behaved children. The second scenario is where I sit alone in the car, thinking it’s a safe zone for a call. Until my son unexpectedly joins me after soccer practice and announces, loud enough for a conference of 10 people to hear, that he has diarrhea. I’m still convinced my coworkers have no idea who provided the comic relief for the next half-year.
5. The Woods at a Playground
At a fifth-grade graduation picnic, I found myself taking an unexpected call with a potential client I had been pursuing for months. I walked away from the joyful noise of summer break kids and encountered a snake—shorter than my arm, but nonetheless, I have an aversion to snakes. I must have squealed, prompting my client to ask if everything was alright. I quickly blamed it on static, continuing the call while perched on a bench, keeping watch for any snake accomplices. In the end, I succeeded in landing the client.
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In summary, juggling work and parenting can lead to some rather unconventional work environments. Whether it’s hiding in the closet or pacing through the woods, finding a quiet space for conference calls often feels more like an adventure than a professional necessity.
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