As I drove around town running errands, I tuned into a classic rock station, and I was shocked to hear Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam singing “Even Flow.” It dawned on me that the grunge music of the ’90s has now been classified as “classic rock.” When did that happen? I’ve long since swapped my flannel shirts for something more age-appropriate, yet I still feel youthful—unless, of course, I overindulge in wine, which leads to a recovery period that lasts way longer than it used to.
Approaching my 39th birthday, I look forward to turning 40 with a sense of calm, especially after the emotional turmoil I faced on my 30th birthday. While I don’t feel older, I certainly feel wiser. Reflecting on the tumultuous years of my 20s, there are five key lessons that I carry with me, and I’d like to share these insights as I prepare for this new chapter in my life.
1. Embrace Your Limitations
In my late teens and early 20s, I was convinced I had life all figured out. I thought I understood love, career paths, and the complexities of life choices. I was quick to judge both myself and others. What I wish I had known then is that no one can know everything; experiential learning often outweighs formal education. This understanding is something I keep in mind as I pursue my doctorate.
2. It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Planned
We often place immense pressure on young adults to map out their futures meticulously. The expectations to excel academically, secure a stable job, and follow a conventional path can be overwhelming. However, through my own professional journey, I discovered it’s perfectly acceptable to pivot, explore new paths, and stay open to unexpected opportunities.
3. Appreciate Your Body
Throughout my life, I grappled with body image issues, particularly in my early 20s. Influenced by societal standards and personal experiences, I often criticized my appearance. I wish I had embraced self-love earlier. Eventually, I adopted a practice of appreciating my body, finding three features I loved each day. This simple ritual helped me cultivate a positive self-image.
4. Live Within Your Means
Like many, I learned the value of money early on while working to support my fashion choices. However, as I earned more, I mistakenly believed I could spend more. By 25, I had accumulated a closet full of clothes and shoes but little else to show for my efforts. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I truly grasped the difference between needs and wants.
5. Distinguish Between Smart Risks and Foolhardiness
The saying goes, “No risk, no reward,” but there’s a fine line between taking calculated risks and acting irresponsibly. I learned the hard way that some choices—like venturing alone in unfamiliar cities or driving after a few drinks—can lead to dire consequences. As I matured, I understood that true risk-taking involves growth without compromising safety.
Having spent countless hours mentoring young adults, I recognize that some lessons can only be learned through experience. I have a feeling that when my daughter turns 18, I’ll need plenty of patience and a glass of wine or two to cope with her adventures. Yet, I find solace in the wisdom that comes with age—an invaluable gift.
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Summary
As I approach my 40s, I reflect on the vital lessons learned in my 20s: embracing limitations, being open to change, loving oneself, understanding financial priorities, and distinguishing between smart risks and recklessness. These insights form the foundation of my wisdom as I move forward.