As a pediatrician and a mother to a nonverbal child, I often encounter misconceptions that can hinder understanding and compassion. My son, who is four years old, embodies many qualities of a typical child: he enjoys running, playing, and engaging in activities like tickle fights and dancing. However, his autism differentiates him from his peers, and the challenges we face are often compounded by the perceptions of those around us. Here are five crucial insights I hope others will consider regarding my son:
1. Communication Beyond Words
Just because my son does not verbalize doesn’t mean he cannot comprehend. There are two categories of language skills: expressive and receptive. After conducting hearing tests, we confirmed his receptive language skills are normal in one ear. It’s important to communicate with him like you would with any other child, avoiding baby talk or talking over him as if he’s not present. He is always listening and absorbing information, even if he cannot respond verbally.
2. A Unique Sense of Humor
My son has a delightful sense of humor that often surprises those around him. He understands sarcasm and enjoys playful antics, such as misdirecting attention during therapy sessions. For instance, when he’s supposed to touch a specific object, he might point to something else entirely, just for a laugh. His ability to engage in playful behavior showcases his cognitive understanding despite his inability to express it traditionally.
3. Diverse Expressions of Autism
It’s essential to note that not all individuals with autism exhibit the same traits. My son is not a prodigy like the character in “Rain Man.” He doesn’t possess extraordinary abilities to counterbalance his challenges; his autism manifests uniquely and should not be generalized based on stereotypes from popular culture.
4. Perceptive Social Skills
My son possesses an impressive ability to read social cues, often using his charm to navigate interactions. He can identify who is most likely to give him what he wants and can manipulate situations to his advantage. This adeptness sometimes leads others to underestimate his capabilities, but it’s crucial to recognize that he is much more than a cute child; he is a complex individual with his own strategies for engaging with the world.
5. Beyond the Disability
While it may be easy to focus on his nonverbal status or behaviors, it’s vital to see the person behind those traits. My son is a vibrant individual who simply faces communication challenges. Everyone, regardless of their capabilities, deserves respect and acknowledgment. By engaging with him, you open the door to understanding a truly remarkable child.
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In summary, my nonverbal child is a complex, humorous, and perceptive individual who deserves to be seen beyond his disability. By fostering understanding and respect, we can bridge the gap between perception and reality.