As a parent, there are countless ideas that seem brilliant on paper, but when put into practice, they can fall flat. A prime example is my attempt to encourage my children to use the anatomically correct terms for their body parts. My four-year-old consistently refers to his penis as a “pee-pee,” and my two-year-old has adopted the same playful terminology for her vagina.
I must admit, I’m a somewhat impressionable parent, often swayed by the latest parenting advice. When another mom confidently states, “I only let my child have four ounces of juice a day, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics,” I can’t help but feel a twinge of panic. “Maybe I should follow that too!” I think. So when my son asks for a juice box, I might say he’s already had his limit, only to backtrack when he gives me that disappointed look — and suddenly, he’s back to sipping on his juice without a second thought. This is just one of many parenting fails.
I once stumbled upon a piece by a mother who advocates using precise anatomical terms with children. I thought to myself, “What a clever approach!” I have no qualms with the words “penis” or “vagina,” so I resolved to avoid cutesy names when the time came. Another article I read claimed that using euphemisms fosters feelings of shame about one’s body. I was fully on board with this notion because, after all, I consider myself a body-positive feminist. I want my children to embrace their bodies without shame.
Dr. James Thompson supports this view, stating, “It’s crucial to use accurate terms. At this early stage, you want your child to recognize you as a reliable source of information, especially on sensitive topics. You’re setting the stage for those more complex conversations about sexuality that will arise during their teenage years.” So I started to wonder, am I jeopardizing my relationship with my future teen by sticking to “pee-pee”?
As the months rolled on, I noticed that despite my best efforts, “pee-pee” was still the term in use. I tried to correct it during a casual chat, emphasizing that “pee-pee” is actually called a “penis.” Days later, during one of my impromptu quizzes, I asked, “What’s that called?” The blank look on his face and the confusion in his eyes told me I hadn’t made any progress. His expression said it all: “What are you talking about, Mom?”
It became clear that discussions about penises simply weren’t a regular occurrence in our home. I understand the importance of teaching children to accurately label their body parts, especially for their safety. I’ve had the important discussion with him about boundaries, making sure he understands, “You’re the only one who can touch your penis.” He reassured me, “Yes, Mommy. No one can touch my pee-pee but me.”
So here we are — no anatomically correct terminology in my household. And honestly, does it really matter? In a world where a bottle is a “ba-ba,” a pacifier is a “binky,” and Grandma is affectionately called “Ya-Ya,” perhaps this is just another parenting fail. I’m okay with “penis” being one of those words that we playfully alter. It’s just part of the journey.
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In summary, while I may not adhere strictly to using anatomical terms with my kids, I believe that creating a loving and open environment is what truly matters. Words evolve, and as parents, we adapt, sometimes using playful language without compromising our core values.
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