Words of Guidance for My 20-Year-Old Self and My Daughter

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As my daughter, Ella, prepares for her move to Paris, it’s crucial for me to ensure that the wisdom I’ve shared over the years is truly understood. I sometimes wake in the night, anxious that she’s not only packing her essentials but also the critical life lessons I hope will guide her. Each morning, I find myself rushing into her room, whispering reminders, hoping they resonate. Some of the advice I offer now is something I wish I had embraced when I was her age:

  1. Make Thoughtful Decisions: The choices you make regarding your body, emotions, friendships, relationships, and finances significantly influence your identity.
  2. Stay Connected: Reach out to your family now and then. This transition impacts them as much as it does you.
  3. Beware of Credit Card Traps: If it’s beyond your means, it’s not a necessity.
  4. Get Outside: Fresh air is vital—don’t forget your sunscreen!
  5. Share a Smile: A genuine smile can uplift someone’s day; offer it freely.
  6. Support Young Entrepreneurs: Always buy lemonade from kids setting up a stand.
  7. Practice Honesty: Be truthful, but avoid sharing for your own relief if it could hurt others.
  8. Be Kind: Maintain relationships; you never know when paths may cross again, but don’t be a doormat.
  9. Volunteer Your Time: Giving back is invaluable.
  10. Prioritize Sleep: Rest is crucial, but appreciate the power of a refreshing nap.
  11. Use the Buddy System: Safety in numbers is always wise.
  12. Acknowledge Everyone’s Struggles: Everyone carries their own burdens, even if unseen.
  13. Tip Generously: Always leave at least 15%—remember, kitchen staff and waitstaff are different.
  14. Focus on Positivity: A positive outlook is more uplifting than complaining.
  15. Change for Happiness: If something isn’t working, don’t hesitate to alter it.
  16. Practice Active Listening: Patience is key.
  17. Set Roommate Guidelines Early: This prevents future conflicts.
  18. Return Borrowed Items in Good Condition: Respect others’ possessions.
  19. Send Handwritten Letters: A personal touch matters; aim for one a month.
  20. Express Gratitude: Real thank-you notes are essential; texts don’t count!
  21. Be Cautious with Loans: Lending money can complicate friendships; celebrate when it’s paid back.
  22. Embrace New Experiences: Each adventure is a learning opportunity.
  23. Don’t Fear Failure: Growth often comes from mistakes.
  24. Meet Deadlines: Timeliness with bills and work is crucial for your financial health.
  25. Be Mindful of Online Presence: Remember, nothing on the internet truly disappears—use privacy settings wisely!
  26. Keep a Journal: Document your experiences and emotions, sharing only when you’re comfortable.
  27. Leave Things Better Than You Found Them: This includes gas tanks and toilet paper!
  28. Seek Advice: It’s okay to take what resonates with you.
  29. Read Widely: Enjoy reading for fun, knowledge, and personal growth.
  30. Trust Your Instincts: If your decision isn’t something you’d be proud to share, reconsider.

Ella has begun to take my advice seriously, as evidenced by her recent choices in stationery and journals. A new planner is in her possession, which alleviates some of my maternal concerns. Above all, I appreciate her adventurous spirit and confidence as she embarks on this journey. My hopes for her are rooted in the best advice I received during motherhood: “Raise her to be a strong, independent woman who embraces life.”

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Summary

As Ella transitions to independence, I share essential life lessons that I hope will guide her on her journey. Emphasizing thoughtful decision-making, kindness, and the importance of family, these insights reflect not only my desires for her but also the wisdom I wish I had known at her age.

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