Parenting transcends mere boo-boo care and the occasional breast leakage; it embodies the most extensive experiment in trial and error known to humankind. When a strategy proves effective, you commit to it indefinitely, only to find it may falter within moments. In that fleeting instance of success, you may find yourself joyfully navigating the chaos of clean laundry, only to catch a glimpse of your reflection and realize you resemble a mad scientist. Yet, that small internal cheer persists: “It worked.”
Then, you add another child to the mix. Armed with newfound wisdom, you feel like a parenting ninja, ready to tackle any challenge. However, you quickly learn that what worked before is utterly ineffective with your new little one. The process of reinventing the wheel begins anew.
Currently, this is my situation. When my first son finally mastered potty training, I entrusted him with the task of wiping. While this independence was a monumental leap, it often resulted in less-than-ideal cleanliness, leading to laundry days that were anything but pleasant. Once that responsibility was assigned, it felt impossible to revert to providing assistance without undermining his newfound pride. Thus, I resorted to discreetly cleaning up the aftermath while offering gentle reminders on proper wiping techniques.
Recognizing that this approach wasn’t yielding the desired results, I decided to adapt my strategy with my second son. I would take on the wiping responsibility until he gained confidence in his abilities. This seemed harmless—after all, I had been doing it since infancy. However, that was two years ago, and I find myself still in the role of “Mommy, the Butt Wiper.”
As you might imagine, this dynamic has grown tiresome. The crux of the issue is that he refuses to utilize the bathroom while away from home. He has not had a bowel movement outside our residence for nearly three years. In fact, during a brief trip last spring, he refrained from pooping until I returned.
We finally broached the topic of him wiping himself.
Me: “Hey buddy, how about you start trying to wipe your own bottom?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “It’s really easy. I can show you.”
Him: “No.”
As is often the case, it became clear that my passive approach was failing miserably.
Me: “Listen, I’m done with wiping your bottom.”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Seriously, you’re in pre-k now; you need to learn this skill.”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Alright, I didn’t want to resort to this, but you need to start wiping yourself. I will not assist you any longer. Do you understand?”
Him: “No.”
As a result, he has not pooped in three days. Interestingly enough, this situation seems to be working in my favor.
For additional insights into parenting and fertility, consider reading one of our other blogs on home insemination, which can provide valuable information on this journey. If you are interested in understanding the intricacies of fertility, visit CDC’s excellent resource on infertility or check out Make A Mom for guidance on couples’ fertility journeys.