In our society, many women aspire to look younger, a phenomenon that often leads to age being a taboo topic. As I navigate my thirties, I find that while we might still celebrate birthdays at lively venues, there’s an underlying sentiment of “we’re celebrating to mask our tears.”
It’s true—people often assume I’m younger than I am. I’ve been carded for kombucha and mistaken for a middle school student at the educational institution where I work. Comments like, “I thought you were in high school!” or “Are you the babysitter?” have prompted me to introduce myself with a disclaimer: “Hi, I’m Sarah. I may look younger than my actual age. Just wanted to clear that up.”
At 26, I welcomed my son into the world, which although not teenage motherhood, still places me among the younger crowd, especially in a neighborhood like Park Slope, Brooklyn. Here, a 30-year-old mother can feel like a preteen in a provocative dance scene.
While I embrace my youthful appearance—hoping that one day, when I’m 60 and look 45, I’ll feel it’s been worth it—I’d rather not be treated like a child. Being a mother is a significant responsibility, and I dislike being disrespected in front of my child.
For instance, when I arrived twenty minutes late to drop off my son at school, a teacher, whom I had recently met, invaded my personal space and said sternly, “You will not be late again.” Her condescending tone made me feel small, and I fumbled through my response, “I-I-I will try my, my very best.”
The situation left me humiliated, and the assistant teacher present seemed equally uncomfortable, laughing nervously as I spoke. The teacher reiterated, with emphasis, “No. You will NOT try. You WILL NOT be late again.” Overwhelmed and shaking, I managed to whisper, “You don’t have to do that.” Once I turned the corner, I broke down in tears.
Living in Park Slope, where preschool costs, much like my rent, are exorbitantly high, I expected a certain level of respect. Isn’t the point of paying a premium for services to receive courteous treatment? If I had been 41, like many affluent parents in the area, would she have reprimanded me in such a manner? Would she have spoken to me like a child if I didn’t resemble a cast member from a reality show?
I have many such anecdotes. For example, there was the time an ER nurse lectured me for an hour on the importance of car seats while I nodded along politely. It’s frustrating to be talked down to, especially when you’re there for help, not a lesson.
If you’re fortunate enough to look your age, embrace it. Aging can bring wisdom and confidence, and one key advantage is that people are less likely to question your choices. They’re more inclined to view you as capable rather than clueless.
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In summary, while looking youthful has its perks, it’s essential to be recognized as an adult, especially when navigating significant responsibilities like motherhood.