Who would have thought that my parenting skills might be in question? I genuinely believe my children are on the right track: they excel academically, exhibit strong social skills, and demonstrate kindness towards others. I have confidence that they are developing into capable adults and contributing members of society. However, the moment I scroll through my Facebook feed, I find myself second-guessing my parenting decisions at every turn.
The content on my feed is a whirlwind of “perfect parenting” updates, alarming news articles about children, and a myriad of opinions from various sources—political commentators, medical professionals, educators, and even well-meaning family members. Additionally, the fierce debates among different parenting styles—be it the “sanctimommies,” helicopter parents, free-range advocates, or millennial moms—create a cacophony of contrasting advice that can be overwhelming. It’s as if I’ve stumbled into a buffet of parenting philosophies, each claiming superiority over the others. If I took everything I read to heart, I would be left believing I’m failing as a mother. I can only imagine how daunting it must be for new parents navigating these waters today.
So, just who is doing it right? Based on an average week of Facebook posts and accompanying commentary, here are 36 ways you might be perceived as parenting incorrectly:
- C-Section Birth: Opting for a C-section suggests you couldn’t handle a natural birth—what a cop-out!
- Drug-Free Hospital Birth: By not utilizing pain relief, you may inadvertently shame those who needed it.
- Medicated Hospital Birth: Choosing medication for labor makes you appear weak. Don’t you know the risks to your baby?
- Home Birth: Why would you choose to give birth at home? Modern medicine is available for a reason.
- Breastfeeding: If you breastfeed, you might come across as an overzealous advocate, making others feel inadequate.
- Formula Feeding: You’re seen as giving up too soon—breastfeeding isn’t as hard as you think.
- Mixed Feeding: If you choose both breastfeeding and formula, you’re criticized for not committing to one method.
- Co-Sleeping: This practice could harm your child’s development. You should be putting them in their crib!
- Crib Sleeping: Not wanting your baby close at all times is viewed as neglectful.
- Disposable Diapers: Using disposables is often deemed irresponsible due to their environmental impact.
- Cloth Diapers: You must enjoy cleaning poop—this isn’t the 1800s anymore.
- Homemade Baby Food: Making your own baby food is impractical—store-bought organic options are perfectly acceptable.
- Store-Bought Baby Food: How can you not find time to prepare your own? It’s vital for your child’s health.
- Late Potty Training: Waiting until after age 3 is seen as too late; training should ideally start at 18 months.
- Early Potty Training: Starting at 18 months is unrealistic; children will train when they’re ready.
- Public Schooling: Sending your kids to public school suggests you don’t care about their education.
- Private Schooling: Do you send your child to private school to make a statement, or do you have money to burn?
- Homeschooling: Why would anyone want to spend all day with their children? That can’t be healthy for them socially.
- Daughters in Dresses: You’re reinforcing outdated gender norms by allowing your daughters to wear dresses and play with dolls.
- Boys with Toy Guns: Allowing your son to play with guns could lead to violent behavior.
- Son in Sports: Encouraging your son to play sports reinforces traditional gender roles; he should learn cooking and gardening instead.
- Daughter in Arts and Crafts: You risk limiting her future by allowing her to engage in traditional activities like ballet and baking.
- Complimenting Your Daughter: Telling her she’s pretty can lead to superficial self-esteem issues.
- Not Complimenting Your Daughter: By not acknowledging her looks, you risk her seeking validation elsewhere.
- Allowing Sons to Cry: Boys should be tough and unemotional—no tears allowed!
- Telling Sons Not to Cry: You’re creating a generation of men incapable of expressing emotions if you don’t encourage crying.
- Sleepovers: Allowing sleepovers exposes your children to potential harm from other adults.
- Forbidding Sleepovers: By not allowing them, you deny your kids essential childhood experiences.
- Teenagers Swearing: Allowing swearing shows a lack of parental authority; it’s not cool to let them act that way.
- Restricting Teenagers from Swearing: Teens need to express themselves freely, including their choice of language.
- Letting Daughters Date at 16: Such freedom could lead to unintended pregnancies.
- Restricting Dating Until 18: Delaying dating could prevent your daughter from gaining valuable experience.
- Daughters Dressing Provocatively: This could lead to her being victimized, and it reflects poorly on her self-esteem.
- Modesty in Dress: Imposing modesty suggests you believe all men are predators, which can be damaging.
- Full-Time Employment: How can you leave your children to work? You’re prioritizing career over motherhood.
- Being a Stay-at-Home Parent: Not working is a poor example; children benefit from seeing their mothers in the workforce.
Ultimately, what I wish for is a parenting community that supports one another, regardless of differing methodologies. No matter how different their approach may be, the key is to affirm each other by saying, “I may not do it your way, but I respect your choices. You are not failing as a parent.”
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Summary
Parenting today can feel overwhelming, especially with the barrage of opinions available on social media. No matter what choices you make, remember that support and understanding among parents is vital.