August 29, 2015
It’s an intriguing question, but the answer is far from simple. I’ve always been someone who saves things—perhaps excessively so. I find myself holding onto items for reasons that often escape me. Just in case I might need that electric bill from 1993? Or a tax return from 1995? Or even proof of a visit to the eye doctor back in 1997?
My daughter, Lucy, enthusiastically took to shredding. Vvvrrr. The sound was delightful! But then something caught my attention—a letter addressed to my husband, “Dear Mark, Your student loan has been settled.” I remembered vividly the day he sat at our kitchen table, shortly after we were married, writing that check.
“Here,” I said to Lucy. Vvvrrr.
I observed as she continued shredding, but curiosity got the better of me. “Wait!” I exclaimed.
Before me lay a collection of receipts. One was for copies made at a local store, another for faxes sent from a pharmacy, and one for an answering machine. Who even makes copies anymore? Is faxing still a thing?
I picked up a bill from a preschool, and memories flooded back—dropping my little one off for class, crouching down to receive a tight hug before she walked through the door. Now, it’s I who reaches up for a hug.
“Can I get back to this now?” Lucy asked, a hint of impatience in her voice.
“Soon.”
Ah! A check stub for $303, winnings from a radio trivia contest where I answered, “What never stops growing?” The answer: “Your nose.”
And what do we have here? A pay stub from the trade magazine I worked for in my late 20s. My then-boss thought I might hit it off with a reporter, and arranged for me to cover a press conference he was attending. Two years after that, I married Mark. The job was demanding, low-paying, and filled with stress in a smoke-filled office, but I gained a wonderful husband from that experience.
Nearby, I noticed a yellowed receipt from the vet for our beloved tiger-striped cat who passed away 12 years ago, alongside a receipt from the SPCA for a tiny black-and-white kitten we adopted shortly thereafter.
So many papers to sift through. What should I keep? I pondered whether anyone would care about these documents if I weren’t around. Would I want someone to sift through my life’s remnants? This thought saddened me, so I redirected my focus to the present. I reassured myself that as long as the papers are here, so too are my memories. Each glance at a document temporarily halts time, much like a photograph transports me back to a cherished moment. While I would never part with my photos, the volume of paperwork is overwhelming, and decluttering is essential.
“Mom’s at it again!” Lucy called to Mark as she eyed the towering stacks of documents, waiting to earn her $5.
“Alright,” I replied. “These are yours.”
Vvvrrr. Just as she slid in another paper, I grabbed the remaining pile, clutching it tightly to my chest, and retreated. Perhaps the next time I feel the urge to declutter, these papers will meet the shredder. For now, though, I’ll keep them—and the memories they hold—a little while longer.
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In summary, the journey through the clutter of our past often brings forth cherished memories and reflections on life choices. While the urge to declutter is strong, the emotional ties to these remnants can make letting go a challenge.