Recently, my partner and I took our 14-year-old daughter, Lily, on a week-long trip to the beautiful North Shore of Oahu. While some parents might find the idea of spending an extended period in close quarters with a teenage girl daunting, we genuinely enjoy Lily’s company. She is generally well-behaved, respectful, and her eye-rolling is thankfully infrequent.
Having already enjoyed a week of relaxation on the Big Island, we arrived at the North Shore excited to share its allure with Lily. We are well-acquainted with the area’s serene atmosphere, but it seemed our enthusiasm might have been overwhelming. Lily appeared anxious and out of place, preoccupied with concerns about sun exposure and the impending school year. Despite my attempts to reassure her that those worries could wait, she remained distracted.
During our stroll along the beach in Haleiwa, where Hawaiian Sea Turtles bask in the warm sun, Lily barely engaged with the moment. The following day at Sunset Beach was similar; she fretted about the waves and the heat of the sand while expressing frustration about her boogie board. My partner and I decided to carry on with our activities, hoping she would eventually join in.
The turning point came at Waimea Bay, renowned for its spectacular scenery and summer-friendly conditions. Here, a massive black lava rock rises dramatically from the sand, attracting adventurous visitors eager to leap into the inviting water below. Although Lily initially dismissed the idea of jumping off the rock, her curiosity got the better of her. After observing others hesitating at the edge, she announced her decision to take the plunge.
Climbing to the top, she finally jumped. The experience was exhilarating for her, and she later described her landing as akin to “hitting a bidet on the highest setting.” This moment seemed to shift her perspective, as she appeared more relaxed and engaged afterward.
Throughout our vacation, I hoped that Lily could learn to unwind by watching her parents embrace leisure activities like snorkeling and turtle watching. At times, she seemed more like a stressed executive than a carefree teenager. However, I realized that teaching her the importance of play and relaxation was essential for her development. There won’t always be a metaphorical rock to jump from, and instilling the value of enjoying life’s simple pleasures could have long-lasting benefits.
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In summary, teaching a teenager to embrace play can be a challenge, especially when they are preoccupied with worries and responsibilities. By encouraging engagement in fun activities and leading by example, parents can help their children rediscover the joy of leisure.