I relocated from Brooklyn, New York, to Florida two years ago. This transition, combined with my remote work situation, significantly hindered my social interactions. Meeting new, like-minded friends isn’t easy when you’re new to an area and rarely leave your home for work.
A few months post-move, I finally connected with someone. She worked as a bartender at a local wine bar—a spot I would retreat to every few weeks for some adult conversation. She had a daughter around the same age as mine, nearly two years old. I intended to set up play dates on multiple occasions, but our discussions always seemed to sidetrack, and plans never materialized.
Last year proved to be particularly grim in terms of gun-related accidents. It felt as though there was a new heartbreaking incident every week. For instance, I heard about a toddler who shot his mother with a gun he found under the couch while she was changing a diaper. Another story reported a child accidentally shooting his mother in Walmart after discovering a gun in her purse. These incidents sparked a conversation among fellow patrons at the wine bar one evening about gun ownership. To my surprise, out of six people, I was the only one without a firearm.
When the topic turned to my bartender friend, I assumed she wouldn’t own a gun. My years in a city with stricter gun control had conditioned me to think that way. However, she casually mentioned, “Oh yes, we keep a loaded shotgun by our bed. My husband travels often and worries about our safety while he’s away.”
A loaded shotgun next to the bed? With a toddler in the house? It struck me that day: you can’t identify a careless gun owner without asking the tough questions.
Sure, there are responsible gun owners who secure their weapons and educate their children about gun safety, treating ownership as a serious responsibility. But there are also those who don’t follow safety protocols. They aren’t necessarily bad people; they might simply not realize the risks involved. Their homes may not be the safest environments for children.
There’s absolutely nothing inappropriate about asking whether someone has a gun in their home before a play date. A piece in The Washington Post featured a mother who consistently asks this question of other parents before allowing her child to visit. Unsurprisingly, it drew comments defending Second Amendment rights and highlighting the higher risks of car accidents or drownings. Some labeled her irresponsible for not being prepared to defend her family in case of an intrusion.
Parents have every right to prioritize their child’s safety and ask the relevant questions. If you believe that inquiring about firearms is a breach of privacy, then that relationship may not be worth pursuing. It’s that simple.
A staggering 40% of gun owners with children don’t store their firearms in a locked safe. A 20/20 investigative report on parental gun ownership repeatedly showed that many parents place too much trust in their kids’ ability to manage curiosity around weapons. Each year, nearly 1,500 children die from accidental shootings—a statistic that remains underreported due to the lack of government oversight on gun safety involving children. Thanks, NRA.
With figures like these, it’s understandable why parents feel anxious. If asking about potential weapons feels intrusive to you, that’s your prerogative. However, the play date can happen elsewhere. Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable planning one with a parent unwilling to discuss such a significant issue.
What are your thoughts?
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In summary, asking about gun ownership before a play date is a vital conversation that should not be shied away from. It’s about ensuring a safe environment for our children.
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