A friend of mine recounted a delightful evening she recently spent with her husband. They enjoyed cocktails at a rooftop eatery while watching the sun set, then rented bicycles to ride along the river to a different restaurant for dinner. Upon sharing her experience, she said, “It was fun. We haven’t done anything new like that in years.”
This made me reflect on how much enjoyment I share with my own husband. Often, we operate like the executives of a small company, each focusing on our respective duties to ensure everything runs smoothly. Sure, the children are thriving, bills are being paid, and life is generally fine. However, the thrill we once shared before parenthood seems to have faded from our relationship.
One significant factor is the time we spend together, which often feels like time taken away from our children. We grapple with guilt over our babysitting arrangements. Additionally, the financial aspect can be daunting. Most importantly, there’s an endless list of tasks that seem more pressing than “having fun”: getting flu shots, shopping for school supplies, or tackling tax preparation. It’s challenging to put aside that mental checklist and simply enjoy each other’s company as we did in the past.
However, I’ve come to realize that it’s essential to prioritize these joyful moments for the health of our relationship—and, by extension, for our children. When selecting a life partner, we tend to seek shared values, intelligence, and humor. Yet, the glue that holds a relationship together is the element of fun. Without it, a marriage risks becoming little more than a partnership of convenience.
Like my friend, I have noticed that it has been far too long since my husband and I engaged in any playful activities. We’ve lost track of the joy that comes from laughter and trying new experiences together. Parenting often forces us into a conservative mindset, where we constantly think about our next responsibilities. However, it’s crucial to occasionally pause and remember what brought us together in the first place; otherwise, we risk becoming mere coworkers in a well-oiled machine—a situation that is far from fulfilling.
So, with a determined spirit, I’ll add one more task to my to-do list: plan enjoyable outings with my husband. I already have some ideas: sipping cocktails on a rooftop, cycling, and indulging in a nice dinner. Perhaps we’ll even wrap up our night with a poker game in Las Vegas!
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Summary:
Maintaining a sense of fun and joy in a marriage is vital for strengthening the relationship, especially after the arrival of children. Couples often find themselves consumed by daily tasks, leading to a lack of enjoyable shared experiences. It’s important to prioritize playful interactions and rediscover the bond that brought partners together.