I feel compelled to share an important perspective regarding the use of the phrase “single momming it.” When your partner is working late, traveling, unwell, or otherwise momentarily unavailable, it does not equate to being a single mother. While I understand the intention behind the phrase, it is crucial to recognize its true meaning.
Understanding the Responsibilities
To clarify, when I am solely responsible for my child, it encompasses every aspect of parenting—waking up at 6 AM, managing potty training, preparing meals, attending soccer practice, and handling medical appointments. I carry the weight of all responsibilities, including financial obligations, educational decisions, and emotional support, 24/7. I am grateful for my supportive partner, but the core responsibilities fall entirely on my shoulders during this stage of our lives.
The Balancing Act
I balance a full-time job while caring for my child during the day. My evenings are spent working on my career and striving for a better future for us. The burden of ensuring we have a stable home and fulfilling our basic needs is mine alone. Despite my efforts, doubt often creeps in late at night. Am I providing enough for my child? Will my one-on-one attention be sufficient for his emotional growth?
Challenges of Self-Care
When I take a moment for self-care—whether getting a haircut or visiting the doctor—I often have to arrange for childcare, which can be a challenge. I empathize with those who temporarily feel overwhelmed when their partner is unavailable. Your struggles are valid, and I recognize the challenges that come with being the primary caregiver. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that your temporary difficulties differ significantly from the ongoing, unrelenting responsibilities of single parenthood.
A Different Path
I never envisioned navigating this path alone; my hopes were for a two-parent dynamic. Unfortunately, circumstances dictated otherwise, and I accept that reality. I love my child deeply and strive to provide the best life possible, despite the fatigue I sometimes feel.
Respecting Our Experiences
I ask that we respect the distinction between our parenting experiences. We are all dedicated mothers, facing our unique challenges, but let’s reserve the term “single momming it” for those who genuinely embody that experience.
Further Reading
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In Summary
While we all face parenting challenges, it’s important to acknowledge the reality of single parenthood separately. Let’s support one another without conflating our experiences.