My lifelong admiration for Madonna began in my formative years and has left an indelible mark on my heart. Like many, my initial foray into dance was set to the infectious beat of “Lucky Star,” and despite skepticism from critics regarding the longevity of my fandom, my passion for her artistry has only deepened over time. Currently, with the anticipation surrounding her latest album, Rebel Heart, I find myself grappling with the challenge of affording tickets priced nearly at $1,000 each. Pole-dancing nuns on stage? A clear nod to her iconic song “Holy Water.” I must be present for this performance.
As a parent to a toddler, my family budget doesn’t allow for extravagant expenditures like Madonna tickets. It’s a glaring oversight on my part—how did I fail to establish a contingency fund for such an essential experience before becoming a parent?
What Would Madonna Do (WWMD)?
To navigate this financial conundrum, I devised a list of potential funding avenues for acquiring those coveted lower-seating tickets, along with a memorabilia T-shirt, of course:
- Perhaps adopting elimination communication could be beneficial. By forgoing diapers, I could save approximately $45 per box. However, the constant vigilance required for this method may impede my ability to engage in any work-from-home opportunities I stumbled upon on Pinterest.
- Enrolling in online surveys through platforms like Swagbucks has proven less lucrative than anticipated, with rewards taking an eternity to accumulate, and often coming in the form of Starbucks gift cards. It’s unlikely Madonna would grace a venue in exchange for a lifetime supply of coffee.
- Selling items on eBay is another option. I could part with unused belongings like roller skates and designer shoes. Realistically, though, I’d probably net about $6 after factoring in shipping costs and disputes over the condition of my scuffed Louboutins.
- Initiating a GoFundMe or Kickstarter campaign crossed my mind. Yet, would friends and family even contribute to what might be perceived as a self-indulgent cause? They didn’t exactly rally to invite Madonna to my baby shower. Yes, she was on my guest list!
- Auctioning my out-of-print copy of Sex could potentially raise funds, but what true Madonna devotee would part with such a significant artifact? Its notoriety only adds to its value.
- In light of these considerations, selling a kidney might emerge as the only viable option.
Reflecting on my relationship with Madonna leads me to this current predicament. Throughout my childhood, I faced financial hurdles that prevented me from attending her shows, such as the iconic Like a Virgin Tour. I envied friends dressed in lace, unaware of the concept of adult relationships at that time. Watching her performances on HBO, like the Blonde Ambition Tour, filled me with longing, and I became a devoted viewer, even tuning into MTV for hours during her pregnancy.
Although many of her tours passed me by, I was eventually gifted an extraordinary opportunity to attend the Confessions Tour, which left me in tears of joy. For the first time, I experienced her artistry in person, enthralled by her energy and presence. This moment solidified my resolve to never miss another Madonna concert.
With the release of Hard Candy, I ventured to Las Vegas with a friend, bringing home memorabilia that still evokes fond memories. Even during my pregnancy, I eagerly awaited a late-night performance, enduring swollen ankles afterward without regret.
Now, as I confront the prospect of missing what promises to be an unforgettable Madonna concert, I recognize that selling organs is illegal in the United States. Even if I could sell a kidney, many individuals in need of transplants are waiting, and I must hold onto mine for my children’s sake.
Like Madonna, my role as a mother takes precedence. We’ve witnessed her evolution in the spotlight, her relentless pursuit of pushing boundaries while championing social change. While I may not be able to attend this concert, my devotion to her music remains steadfast. I find solace in knowing that I can still enjoy her work, even if it means seeking out a scalper come October.
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Summary
A devoted fan reflects on her longstanding admiration for Madonna and the financial hurdles preventing her from attending the artist’s latest concert. Despite creative fundraising attempts, she ultimately embraces her role as a mother while cherishing her love for Madonna’s music.