- Insist on having only Cheerios for breakfast. On Mondays, Thursdays, and alternating Fridays, enjoy them dry—no milk allowed.
- Exhibit extreme distress if your order is not fulfilled.
- Avoid any new food items at all costs.
- Remember, yesterday’s favorites may not apply today; changing your mind is completely acceptable without the need for justification.
- Approach anything that was once alive with skepticism. Opt for produce that appears lifeless and unappealing.
- Request an assortment of foods while grocery shopping, then either A. feign ignorance upon returning home or B. allow it to be prepared only to later declare it unpalatable.
- Spend time learning brand names to ensure you can reject less expensive alternatives.
- Any cooking or food prep taking longer than 30 seconds is utterly intolerable.
- Demand updates on meal readiness every 10 seconds. If the wait exceeds your patience, express your discontent by throwing a tantrum.
- Regardless of whether the meal is served half-frozen, it won’t matter—you have no intention of eating it anyway.
- Establish a strict rule against eating on Wednesday afternoons, for no particular reason.
- Ensure you have a spoon, knife, and two forks for every meal, yet insist on eating with your hands.
- Only use a specific plate; a dirty one will cause an emotional outburst.
- Make sure to push as much of your meal off the table as possible. After all, you want to contribute to the ongoing kitchen floor clean-up.
- Sweet potato chips are utterly offensive.
- Steer clear of any food containing sauce out of fear it may include blended vegetables.
- Reject water entirely. You’ll hear, “You’ll drink it when you’re thirsty,” but ignore that—dehydration will be your lesson.
- Always declare hunger while in the bath.
- Train your internal clock to awaken at midnight craving bananas.
- Casseroles, stews, and pies are inherently untrustworthy.
- Remember, sweet potato chips are still offensive.
- Show no mercy to individuals who refer to broccoli as “little trees”—it’s both patronizing and revolting.
- Avocado? Absolutely not—what even is that?
For more parenting insights, check out our other blog posts like the one on terms and conditions to stay informed. If you’re seeking guidance on fertility, consider visiting Make a Mom for expert advice. Additionally, Womens Health is a fantastic resource for information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, navigating the culinary preferences of a toddler can be a whimsical and challenging journey. By understanding their unique perspectives and guidelines, caregivers can better prepare for the unpredictability of mealtime.