As my 5-year-old son begins to grasp the concept of chores, his current responsibilities include tidying up his toys and assisting me with laundry and vacuuming. Admittedly, his attempts at vacuuming often resemble an exploration of the vacuum’s capabilities, which, while entertaining, also serve as an unintentional lesson in engineering.
We have also introduced a system of allowances: $1 earmarked for spending, $1 for saving, and $1 for charitable giving, following the jar method recommended by financial expert Ron Lieber. He emphasizes that allowances should not be tied to chores, viewing them instead as educational tools for teaching money management—budgeting, distinguishing between needs and wants, and saving for future purchases. While children may not “earn” their allowance in the traditional sense, neither do they earn food and shelter, which we provide as part of our duty as caregivers.
This brings me to the question of whether children should receive additional payment for extra chores beyond their daily responsibilities. A post shared by Carla Hughes on social media sparked a lively discussion regarding the merits of compensating children for chores or offering extra payment for additional tasks. Indeed, various essential household duties exist beyond the daily routine, such as cleaning gutters, washing vehicles, or organizing storage spaces.
Initially, I considered a model similar to Hughes, where I might offer a few dollars for specific tasks like raking leaves or bathing the dog. However, upon reflection, I recognized that I have sons, and I recalled the experiences I’ve had with various men in my life. Generally, while household tasks are divided, it has often been women, including myself, who create the to-do lists and manage the various responsibilities. We hope our partners will contribute without complaint, yet it remains the case that women frequently oversee household management.
My primary goal is not just to teach my boys how to do their dishes without reluctance but to equip them with essential domestic skills as they transition into adulthood. I want them to know how to meal plan, dust blinds effectively, and when to perform seasonal tasks like clearing leaves from gutters. I aspire for them to be proactive rather than reactive, ensuring they do not approach their future partners with the mindset of “just tell me what to do.”
Household management encompasses numerous elements, from calculating how much food to prepare for a gathering to determining when to clean out the refrigerator. By instilling these skills, I hope my sons will also gain competence in financial responsibilities, as both are vital for independent living.
If I were to pay them for chores, I run the risk of them opting out of tasks they deem uninteresting or demanding. Yet, adulthood does not operate that way; sometimes, one must tackle the messy or less enjoyable chores without any form of compensation. So, while I demonstrate how to unclog a vacuum hose—where, amusingly, an ace of hearts has lodged itself—I’m embedding essential life lessons.
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Summary:
In my approach to parenting, I have chosen not to pay my sons for completing household chores. Instead, I focus on instilling essential skills that will prepare them for adulthood, emphasizing the importance of being proactive in managing both domestic tasks and finances. By not linking chores to monetary compensation, I aim to foster a sense of responsibility and competence that transcends financial incentives.