Growing up, I always trusted my mother’s words. Her honesty provided comfort during challenging times. I often found myself seeking her guidance on significant matters: What is your view on faith? Am I marrying the right person? Is this career path suitable for me? Will I love my second child as much as my first? In those moments, mothers are expected to be truthful. And for that, I’m genuinely thankful.
However, there were times when my mother shared small untruths. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I recognized this reality. Now, with a toddler exploring the house and another child on the way, I understand there were countless little fabrications in her daily conversations. How do I know? Because I find myself doing the same. Here are five untruths I’m thankful my mother imparted to me.
1. “You can absolutely do it on your own.”
My mother might not have known if I could truly manage without assistance. I can only imagine the urge to shout “STOP!” when I first rode my bike without training wheels. Or when I nervously approached the new middle school to introduce myself to a group of trendy girls, glancing back at her car for reassurance. Even as I prepared for college and sat in the driveway crying, she encouraged me to take the leap. Deep down, she may have had her doubts, but she sent me forth with confidence in my abilities.
2. “They’re just unkind because you excel beyond them.”
The teenage years were some of the toughest, filled with heartbreak and encounters with mean peers. I spent many nights on the couch, expressing my sorrows to my mother, who must have felt heartache seeing me upset. Yet, she always knew how to uplift me: “That boy ended it because he felt intimidated,” or “Those girls are envious of your talents.” While these statements may not have been entirely accurate, they provided comfort when I needed it most.
3. “You look stunning in that outfit.”
Perhaps this wasn’t a complete falsehood. Maybe my mother genuinely believed I looked great in my eclectic fashion choices, like my Mudd Jeans and zebra-striped cowboy hat, or those camo shorts paired with flip flops. It’s possible she even thought my strapless wedding dress was perfect. Yet, I believe she understood that my perception of beauty mattered more than the clothes themselves.
4. “I will always take pride in you.”
In the grand scheme, my mother probably does feel pride in my accomplishments. However, I’m sure there were moments of disappointment, especially during my college missteps. Despite my less-than-stellar choices, she consistently reassured me of her pride and belief in my potential. Her faith in me helped foster my self-belief, even when it was challenged. It can’t have been simple for her, but she masked her doubts with affirmations.
5. “I will never abandon you.”
As I matured, I recognized that some promises can’t be upheld. Nonetheless, during my childhood, marked by divorce and insecurities, this promise provided me with much-needed stability. While mothers may not be able to remain physically present forever, the values and lessons they instill endure. And perhaps more importantly, so do the gentle untruths.
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In summary, the little fictions we tell our children serve a vital purpose, providing support and encouragement when they need it the most. As I navigate motherhood myself, I appreciate the wisdom and love my mother shared, even when wrapped in a bit of gentle untruth.