Hey Kids…That’s Not My Name

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As we navigate the evolving landscape of communication, I find myself reflecting on the shifting dynamics of social interaction. It’s evident that social media and texting have ushered in an era of more informal exchanges. Etiquette, as we once knew it, seems to be fading—perhaps becoming less refined or simply more casual.

Generally, I appreciate casual settings: casual Fridays, comfortable jeans, laid-back dining, and even casual dating. There are numerous advantages to this relaxed approach; it allows us to bypass unnecessary niceties and engage with one another more directly. However, I also yearn for traditional etiquette, particularly in how children relate to adults. A significant concern of mine is the growing trend of children addressing adults by their first names. While this practice is prevalent in my community, I still find it unsettling—akin to wearing black underwear with white pants or ordering steak at a sushi restaurant.

My name is Ava, and every time a child calls me by it, I can’t help but recall that catchy tune by The Ting Tings: “They call me hell. They call me Ava.” Once that melody is stuck in my mind, it’s hard to focus on anything else.

I sometimes question if my discomfort with this trend is shared by others. Many parents express a preference for being called by their first names, suggesting that titles like “Mr.” or “Mrs.” remind them of their own parents. This first-name basis seems to evoke a sense of youthfulness, similar to the feeling of shopping at trendy stores or enjoying a fun cocktail. While I understand that “Mr.” or “Mrs.” can feel outdated, I also see the value in maintaining some distinctions between adults and children.

This brings me to a dilemma: What should my children’s friends call me? Some suggest adding “Miss” or “Mr.” before a first name as a compromise, but “Miss Ava” feels a bit too reminiscent of a sorority house. In an effort to modernize my name, I considered adopting a rapper persona, but all the clever names seem taken. Ideas like G-Diddy or Small Busted Rhyme just didn’t resonate.

Alternatively, I pondered the idea of a symbol, much like Prince did in the ‘90s. Imagine a world where no one really knows what to call me. Perhaps I could choose a wine glass symbol or something equally whimsical.

Ultimately, I believe that familiarity should be reserved for peers. There should be clear boundaries separating children from adults, as much as I enjoy their company. Here are some guidelines to consider when deciding how to address me:

  1. If you’ve soiled your trousers in the last decade, it’s a firm no.
  2. If you’re wearing clothing from a junior store, also no.
  3. If you’re on a travel soccer team, enjoy the season, but still no.
  4. If Skittles are part of your food pyramid, definitely no.
  5. If you can recite lines from a Minion movie, that’s a hard no.
  6. If you still order from the kids’ menu, pick no.
  7. If your Disney ticket was half off, it’s a magical no.
  8. If you sport light-up sneakers, it’s a resounding no.
  9. If you’re eagerly awaiting Santa, it’s a big no.

In conclusion, while I appreciate the sentiment behind first-name familiarity, I believe maintaining a respectful distance is essential. It’s a balance between embracing modernity and honoring tradition.

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Summary: The article discusses the changing landscape of communication, particularly regarding how children address adults by their first names. The author expresses discomfort with this trend, advocating for a return to traditional etiquette and clear boundaries between children and adults.

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