By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: Feb. 25, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 12, 2015
Recently, while running errands, I tuned into a local classic rock station and was stunned to hear Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam belting out “Even Flow.” It made me realize that my flannel shirts and Doc Martens are relics of the past, and now the grunge era of the ’90s has been classified as “classic rock.” When did this happen? It’s amusing to think that I might be classified as classic myself. While I may not feel older (except after indulging in a bit too much wine, which now takes me days to recover from), I do feel wiser as I approach my late 30s. My tumultuous 30th birthday, which ended with tears on a barstool in New Orleans, has set the stage for a more relaxed milestone at 40. I wouldn’t trade my current wisdom for the struggles of my younger years. Here are five key lessons from my 20s that continue to resonate with me:
- You Don’t Have All the Answers
In my youth, I was certain I had life all figured out—relationships, careers, and everything in between. I was quick to judge myself and others. I wish I had understood earlier that no one can know everything, no matter their level of education. Informal learning often holds more value than formal education, a realization I keep in mind as I pursue my PhD. - It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Figured Out
Society places immense pressure on young adults to map out their futures. The expectation to excel academically, secure stable employment, and follow a conventional life path can be overwhelming. As I navigated various career options, I learned that it’s perfectly acceptable to change directions and embrace new opportunities when they arise. - Embrace Your Body
Like many, I have battled body image issues since my youth. Instead of focusing on flaws, I adopted a practice of self-acceptance, where I acknowledge three things I appreciate about my body every day. This simple exercise has improved my body image and self-esteem significantly. - Live Within Your Means
I learned the importance of financial responsibility early on. While working as a nurse’s aide to afford trendy clothes, I mistakenly thought that a higher income equated to more possessions. By age 25, despite having an impressive wardrobe, I realized that true financial wisdom comes with understanding the difference between needs and wants, a lesson further solidified by motherhood. - Distinguish Between Taking Risks and Being Reckless
We often hear that without risk, there’s no reward. However, there’s a fine line between calculated risks and sheer foolishness. Engaging in unsafe behaviors, such as wandering alone in unfamiliar cities or making impulsive decisions, can lead to dire consequences. As I matured, I learned that true risks involve stepping out of my comfort zone while still prioritizing my safety.
Having spent years working with young adults, I understand that some lessons can only be learned through personal experience. I anticipate that when my daughter turns 18, I might need to stock up on stress-relief supplies. For now, I take comfort in the wisdom I’ve gained over the years, recognizing that this growth is a genuine gift.
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Summary
Reflecting on the lessons learned in my 20s, I realize the importance of self-acceptance, financial wisdom, and the distinction between calculated risks and recklessness. Each of these insights has contributed to the person I am today as I approach my 40s with a sense of peace and understanding.