As we introduce the notion of chores to my 5-year-old son, he has begun to take responsibility for tidying up his toys at the end of the day and “assisting” me with laundry and vacuuming. Admittedly, his approach to vacuuming often involves a fascination with what larger objects the hose can suck up, transforming the experience into an impromptu engineering lesson (the ace of hearts he discovered was particularly amusing).
We have also implemented an allowance system: $1 for spending, $1 for saving, and $1 for charitable giving, all organized in a jar system recommended by financial expert Ron Peterson, author of The Financial Foundation: Raising Kids Who Are Financially Savvy, Generous, and Grounded. Peterson emphasizes that an allowance should not be tied to chores because it serves as a financial learning tool rather than a reward. It’s essential for parents to guide their children in managing money—such as budgeting, distinguishing wants from needs, and saving for future purchases. While children do not “earn” their allowance, neither do they earn their basic needs like food and shelter; these are provided as part of parental care.
This leads to a pertinent question: should children have the opportunity to earn extra money through additional chores? A thought-provoking image shared by Jessica Moore on social media highlighted this debate, prompting many to discuss the merits and drawbacks of compensating children, either for regular chores or for extra tasks. Beyond daily responsibilities, there are numerous essential household tasks, like cleaning gutters, vacuuming the car, or organizing the garage.
Initially, I considered adopting a strategy similar to Moore’s, where children receive small payments for specific tasks like raking leaves or washing the dog. However, upon reflection, I realized the significance of instilling a sense of responsibility in my sons. My experiences with the men in my life have shown me that while they may participate in household chores, it is often the woman who manages the household to-do list. This dynamic can lead to an imbalance that I am keen to address.
I want my boys to grow into adults equipped with essential domestic skills: meal planning, understanding home maintenance, and knowing when to clean out the fridge. I do not wish for them to enter adulthood with the mindset of waiting for someone else to assign them tasks. Rather, I want them to possess the initiative and knowledge to manage a household effectively.
If I were to pay them for chores, there is a risk they might refuse to complete less desirable tasks or only choose the fun ones. However, adulthood often requires tackling the less enjoyable responsibilities without any financial incentive. For example, sometimes you find yourself wrestling a muddy dog, and no one is there to compensate you for it.
So, for now, I will demonstrate to my son how to clean out a vacuum hose—where an ace of hearts has mysteriously lodged itself. By teaching him these valuable life skills, I hope to prepare them for future responsibilities.
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Summary
In teaching my sons about chores, I aim not only to instill a sense of responsibility but also to equip them with essential life skills that will serve them in adulthood. By encouraging self-sufficiency and an understanding of household management, I hope they will grow into competent individuals who can tackle responsibilities without relying on external incentives.