Pregnancy
The 8 (Real) Stages of Developing a Baby Bump
by Alex Johnson
Updated: November 10, 2020
Originally Published: August 12, 2015
Why do celebrities make pregnancy look so effortless? Seriously, can we just take a moment to acknowledge that? They always appear stunning, no matter the situation. Meanwhile, for many, including myself, the experience is not always so glamorous. As a mother of two—one son and one daughter—I can attest that my journey through pregnancy involved phases I would have gladly skipped. If you’ve ever carried a child, you understand exactly what I mean.
Just as your baby goes through various developmental stages, your body experiences its own transformations as well.
Stage One
I’m pregnant! It’s time to explore methods for preventing stretch marks, stock up on cocoa butter, indulge in a maternity shopping spree, and capture a few final snapshots of my pre-baby belly for social media. A new life is blossoming inside me. I feel like Mother Nature!
Stage Two
Okay, it’s been three months, and where is my baby bump? I feel utterly exhausted and nauseated, yet there’s no visible sign of the little one creating this chaos. SHOW ME THE BELLY!
Stage Three
I wanted a belly, but what is this? This isn’t a baby bump; it’s just extra fluff. I’m starting to look overweight. People glance at me, unsure whether to congratulate me or suggest I lay off the snacks. This is not what I envisioned. #Notfair. I guess I’ll have to post pictures on social media with fruit that’s the same size as my baby, to prove I’m actually pregnant.
Stage Four
The bump is finally here! I HAVE POPPED, and my baby is making an appearance! Look at my lovely belly! I’m totally nailing this pregnancy thing.
Stage Five
Wait a minute, this belly needs to stop growing. Seriously, I didn’t sign up for this much belly! I still have two months left, and people are asking if I’m expecting twins. I am NOT having twins, and I’m questioning our friendship right now. Surely I can’t get any bigger than this. I’ll probably go into labor early.
Stage Six
It’s official: I feel like a museum exhibit. Is my doctor sure I’m not having twins? I look enormous! And what’s with all the movement? It’s quite unsettling. What’s happening in there? Also, those cocoa butter bottles are a scam! I have stretch marks from my thighs to my chest, and my breasts seem to have doubled in size. I want a refund. #Ripoff
Stage Seven
Oh my goodness, send help! I’ve had the baby… I think. I definitely felt everything, but I still look pregnant—sort of. My belly is large but now has a wobbly, deflated appearance. I’m going to be stuck in maternity clothing forever. If anyone dares to post a photo of me online, there will be consequences.
Stage Eight (And One Year Later)
Well, hello there, belly. I vaguely remember you, although you look a little different now, adorned with what some moms refer to as “tiger stripes.” Apparently, I’ve earned those. You look pretty good considering everything we’ve been through. So, belly… ready for another tenant? I hear baby bumps are trending these days.
In summary, the journey of growing a baby bump is filled with surprising twists and turns. From the excitement of the first stages to the reality of post-pregnancy, each phase presents its own challenges and milestones. For further insights on fertility and pregnancy, consider exploring reputable resources like Science Daily, and if you’re looking for tools to aid in conception, check out Make a Mom for expert guidance. Additionally, you can find more on home insemination at Intracervical Insemination.