Updated: June 9, 2016
Originally Published: August 10, 2015
My eldest child, Mia, has always been a bit of a maverick. Unlike many of her peers, she’s not overly eager to blend in; she enjoys her own company and finds solace in her thoughts. Although she has a variety of friends and is included in school gatherings, she doesn’t feel compelled to forge connections with others unless they intrigue her. Amazingly, she rarely experiences loneliness. Adults often engage her in conversations about literature and history, making her seem wise beyond her years, almost like an adult trapped in a young girl’s body.
This trait has been evident since she was a toddler. In kindergarten, her curiosity peaked with discussions of the assassinations of historical figures like Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. By third grade, she was grappling with the poignant tale of Anne Frank, seeking to understand how such tragedy could befall a child. Her love for history blossomed in fourth grade, when the school librarian made special arrangements for her due to her voracious reading habits, often centered around events like the bubonic plague and the Great Depression. By fifth grade, her Christmas wish list included posters of her heroes, Nelson Mandela and Malala Yousafzai, both champions of justice and equality. Proudly, I framed these posters, and they now grace her bedroom.
However, her intellectual pursuits come with a challenge. Keeping her entertained during the summer is no easy task. While her younger sister thrives in the chaotic joy of summer camps and activities, Mia feels overwhelmed by the idea of joining in. The very thought of attending sleepover camps can induce panic, making her plea, “Please, Mom, don’t make me,” resonate deeply.
In the past, I have sometimes insisted she participate in activities, but I quickly learned that this approach rarely yields positive results. This summer, after completing several educational courses, including “The History of the Civil War” and “Writers’ Academy,” Mia approached me and said, “Once these classes are over, I don’t want any more camp activities. I’d like a week just with you.”
“A week with me?” I replied. “What would we do?”
“I’m not sure,” she mused. “Maybe go to the bookstore, visit a coffee shop, walk the dogs, and just talk.”
As a stay-at-home mom and freelance writer, summer often becomes a juggling act for me, filled with deadlines and the demands of family schedules. I admit, I usually look forward to having more time to myself rather than less. Initially, I hesitated at her request, wondering if she might grow bored spending extended time with her “old” mother.
“Are you sure you won’t be bored?” I asked.
“Not at all,” she assured me confidently.
So, I decided to shift my perspective. For one week, I would set aside the chaos and simply enjoy my daughter’s company. Together, we dropped her sister off at camp, marking Mia’s first time sitting in the front passenger seat as co-pilot. Afterward, we enjoyed refreshments at a local café, discussing everything from books to current events. One afternoon, we visited a tech store where she engaged in an in-depth conversation about software with a knowledgeable associate. We took the dogs to the vet, tended to the garden, and spent hours exploring bookstores where we both cherished the silence of reading. Lunch outings, chores, and leisurely strolls through nearby towns filled our days; I allowed her to dictate our activities as if we were following a detailed itinerary.
Our week together was fulfilling. Mia is delightful company, and the experience taught me a valuable lesson. I often see the summer months as a challenge to manage rather than a chance to truly connect. I usually frantically sift through numerous activities for kids, hoping to keep them occupied while I carve out moments for myself. However, during our week of ‘Mom Camp,’ I relinquished control and let Mia lead. I realized I hadn’t allowed myself to do that in ages.
Our time together was unstructured; we meandered, chatted, and let the days unfold naturally. We didn’t create any tangible keepsakes or learn any new skills, but perhaps that was the essence of it all. Mia declared it her favorite week of summer, possibly of her life, and I felt the same.
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In summary, dedicating a week to spend quality time with my daughter not only deepened our bond but also transformed my perspective on summer family time, reminding me to embrace the moments that matter most.