In early 2020, like millions before me, I picked up Marie Kondo’s transformative book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It didn’t take long for me to realize that Kondo’s advice didn’t quite align with the realities of parenting. My life is filled with the joyful chaos of raising a child, and I simply don’t have the time or space to follow her method to the letter.
The idea of pulling everything out of my closet and sorting it all at once felt impossible. Rolling my T-shirts like sushi to neatly fit into a drawer? Not likely. And parting with my collection of spare buttons? That seemed utterly unthinkable. Yet, amidst this realization, one concept from Kondo’s philosophy resonated deeply with me: “Does this object spark joy?” This simple question lingered in my mind long after I finished the book.
Not long after reading Kondo’s work, my 6-year-old son, Jake, approached me during a school vacation. “Mom, I have too many toys,” he said earnestly. “Can we go through them and pick some to donate?” I was pleasantly surprised by his initiative, and together we embarked on a decluttering adventure.
We carefully examined each toy in his playroom, sorting them into two piles: one for his kindergarten class and another for the thrift store. The next day, we tackled his books, followed by his art supplies. By the end of the week, we’d gone through DVDs, clothes, and stuffed animals—a category unto themselves. He decided to part with only one plush toy, a recent gift from a flight we took, but I remained silent as we had already amassed several boxes to donate.
Watching Jake make decisions about what to keep and what to let go made me realize that children have an innate understanding of joy that we often lose as adults. He cherished items that held meaning for him, even if I didn’t understand their significance—a crooked stick figure made from pipe cleaners and a simple pebble collected at the beach were treasures in his eyes.
Conversely, he was remarkably adept at letting go of items. A small toy car with a broken wheel, once a favorite, was swiftly tossed into the trash without a second thought. When I inquired if he wasn’t attached to it, he shrugged and said, “I have other toys I like more.” It was refreshing to see someone so free from guilt. Jake inherently understood that parting with a gift doesn’t diminish the love for the giver; it can actually enhance appreciation for those we hold dear.
Since that decluttering session, I’ve noticed Jake being more discerning about what he keeps. If something breaks or gets torn, he discards it immediately and without regret. I’ve discovered numerous items in the recycling bin—a crown he wore for mere minutes, a paper airplane he crafted, and a magazine he read once. Each time, I felt the urge to express my dismay at what seemed like waste, but I refrained. He recognizes that the joy these items once brought has passed. Why should I instill a sense of obligation to retain them?
Instead, I’m learning from his perspective. I’ve begun to sift through my possessions—not in the rigid manner prescribed by Kondo, but in a way that suits my lifestyle. I’m beginning to see that letting go can liberate me to fully embrace the present.
Clothes have been particularly easy to part with. I’ve accepted that I won’t be wearing smaller sizes again, nor will I invest time in mending old garments. While I cherished the memories tied to my wedding dress and baby clothes, I’ve realized my sentiments are less tied to these physical items than I assumed.
Digital decluttering has also been straightforward: I’ve printed my best photos and retained only the most memorable messages. Even books, which I once found hard to relinquish, have become easier to manage. Inspired by Jake’s clarity, I’ve let go of “should-reads” and “once-read” volumes. My bedside table is now a curated selection of just a few novels I look forward to diving into.
Marie Kondo’s assertion that tidying can be life-altering rings true. It fosters a sense of lightness and clarity about what truly matters. I didn’t need a book to understand this, though. I just needed my son to show me the way.
For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood and home organization, check out some of our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers expert resources on the subject, and Rmany is another excellent source for pregnancy and home insemination information.
In summary, the experience of decluttering with my son has taught me the significance of joy in our possessions and the freedom that comes from letting go. Embracing this philosophy has not only lightened my load but also enhanced my appreciation for the present moment.