Opting to remain a bit of an outsider in California, I chose to keep my hair a rich brunette and frequently bypassed social sushi gatherings. Yet, this decision led to a sense of isolation, and I found myself yearning for a stronger sense of belonging. I recognized that the best approach to cultivate this feeling was to engage in community activities. However, I was at a crossroads: California is predominantly populated by youthful, carefree individuals in their twenties, while I was approaching 40. How could I partake in something without appearing to chase my lost youth?
On weekends, my friends, who were couples, often invited me to beach volleyball games. They would eagerly urge me to join, which made sense given my towering height of 6 feet. I would always respond with a polite, “Maybe later,” with “later” actually meaning “never.”
Due to my stature, people often presumed I had a knack for sports that favored height. In high school, I was even approached by coaches from smaller colleges who were eager to recruit me for their volleyball teams. However, after a brief assessment of my spiking skills, they quickly reconsidered, leaving with expressions of disappointment.
My perception of volleyball began to shift when I started attending matches with friends. While they played, I would lounge on the sand, engrossed in my latest beach read, but I couldn’t help but steal glances at the volleyball court. Before the games commenced, players would greet one another enthusiastically, as if they hadn’t seen each other in ages, despite it only being a week. Their spirit of camaraderie, the high-fives after points, and the carefree reactions to mistakes intrigued me. This was a laid-back group, coming together simply for the joy of playing. The Pacific Ocean served as a stunning backdrop, and they lingered until the sun dipped below the horizon.
Motivated by this vibrant atmosphere, I took to the Internet and quickly discovered an adult beginner’s volleyball class at a nearby beach. I registered, eager to finally impress my former P.E. teachers and master the art of spiking.
Upon arrival, I was greeted with introductions, only to discover I was one of just two women in the class. The instructor asked us to share our names, backgrounds, and how long we had been playing volleyball. This question struck me as odd, given that we were all beginners. To my surprise, the men in the group had been playing for four years! The other woman, when prompted, mentioned she had only played four times, and I quickly claimed her as my partner; I figured it was better to be embarrassed alongside someone with equally limited experience.
We began with a simple exercise of tossing the ball around using just one arm. I struggled and felt self-conscious; the hot sand scorched my feet, and I could sense my skin reddening from inadequate sunscreen application. My arms ached, and colorful bruises began to form. But more than my physical challenges, I noticed I kept apologizing for every mistake I made.
Determined to change my mindset, I approached the second class with renewed vigor. As I silently repeated “I am good enough” after each mis-hit, I maintained a positive demeanor and stood tall with confidence. This shift in body language worked wonders. I began to strike the ball with greater force and accuracy, and with each minor victory, my confidence blossomed. I stopped apologizing, and my teammates began to respect my presence. The instructor even remembered my name this time, a feat he hadn’t accomplished in our first session.
As I grew to appreciate volleyball and my emerging skills, I also found myself carrying that newfound confidence off the court. I felt a noticeable shift not only in my self-perception but in how others perceived me as well.
At almost 40, I have learned that it is never too late to embrace new experiences.
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Summary
This article discusses the author’s journey of discovering a passion for beach volleyball at nearly 40 years of age. Initially hesitant due to self-doubt and societal perceptions, the author gradually learns to embrace the sport and gains confidence, illustrating that it’s never too late to pursue new interests and find community.